Someday
by Son Of A Banana
Summary: The school's most popular girl and the school's most unknown girl, together. All she could ever think to say to that dream is a simple word. "Someday."
1. Hyperventilation and Consideration

**Disclaimer: I don't be ownin' dat dare Shake It Up! It den done be owned bai dat dare Disney people, ya know, with dem fancy cars and dem women with big ol' teenage titties.**

**NEW STORY! Excitement face C:**

* * *

><p>Ew... He's breathing on me. I can see his scruffy beard swaying lightly as he constructs me on what to do, with that revolting scent on chicken noodles flowing from his mouth. It disappears for a seconds as he glances back at the class, and I thank God for that.<p>

"Raquel, you're not paying attention."

Damn it, it's back.

"Mr. Watashi, I think that it would be better if you show the entire class on the board, it'd be much eas-" His eyes squinted and he hushed me, and soon students were flying out of the room, crowding the door and trying to climb over eachother, attempting to see what was causing the mayhem in the halls.

"Such a stupid bitch!" Someone's got a potty mouth...

"Says the girl who failed art!" This girl has a heavy accent...

I would love to stay at my desk, content and out of the bodies of odorous eighth graders, but I need to pee. Like, super-mega-badly. I spot a little doorway through the crowd, and quickly sliver through the cheering crowd. Then I see what the commotion is being caused by.

A blonde and a redhead, who're trying VERY hard to get eachother's heads off. I think I recognize the redhead though... Can't really see her face when all the hair is covering it up.

That redhead girl throws bad punches. She seriously just hit air in the face. But then she comes back with a strike of her left fist right to the blonde's nose, and that's pretty much when the halls got louder with cheers and yells. The blonde growls and slaps the girl square across her face, and then the redhead tackles her to the ground.

Woah, I can _totally_ see up the redhead's skirt from this angle.

Not that I like it, cuz I don't like girls. Never. I'm more straight than a Justin-Bieber fan girl. That's on the cheerleading team. And _supports_ abstinence. And I go to church.

Straight.

Maybe I admire Cameron Diaz a little more than the average person, but still, my door doesn't swing that way.

I wonder if that picture of her kissing Lucy Liu is still on my laptop after Ty found it yesterday. I'll see to that at home.

Soon teachers are pulling at both the girl's arms and grunting at them in dismay. They still claw and throw hits at eachother until they are being dragged apart into different classes. Oh, it's her.

And by her, I mean, by far, the most prettiest girl I've ever seen.

It's just a compliment, calm your tits. Or balls. Or whatever middle category you fall into.

CeCe Jones.

I guess I could say that ever since she moved into our building last month, right below me, I've never taken my eyes off her. She has chocolate eyes that glitter in the sunlight, fiery waves of hair that match her personality, and her smile- If she ever smiled at me, I'd probably wet myself, then cry, then die of a heart attack. It's _that_ intimidating.

I say 'If' because, well, I'm not really popular, and she is. As in, the only time she talks to me is when she directing an insult at me. No one talks to me, like, no one at all- Well, my cat, Tiffany Brittana Diaz-Starr III, or Tiff, talks to me, but no actual human does. Not even my idiot of a brother. The only time he talks to me is when he's referencing to my overly-sized glasses, or how I talk 'like a white girl' when I speak. It's not my fault he talks like an ignorant twit.

See? Twit. Who says chiz like that?

I'm disrupted by the gentle tap of a finger on my shoulder, only to turn around and see Principle Walloch staring at me and- Wow, where'd everyone go?

I look back at Miss Walloch and she's giving me the sweetest smile ever.

God_ DAMN,_ she's fine.

... Okay, so maybe I do talk like Ty sometimes.

And that was only a compliment. I swear.

"Raquel, you seemed zoned out today. What're you doing standing in the hall?" Waiting for you to whisk me away with your cloud of sexiness.

"I'm, uh, I was heading to the, er, the bathroom. Yeah, the bathroom." She could seriously stop a herd of... Everything. I mean, GOD, look at her. Well, you can't see her...

Oh, how you miss out.

"Oh, well in that case, carry on. By the way, fantastic job at the National Science Regionals, I love the sculpture." And with that, she winked at me, and strutted away.

She's like an inch away from Cameron Diaz. Just an milli-inch.

I conducted an entire life-sized sculpture of Principle Walloch, made completely out of clay. I installed eighty electro-magnet wires in the hollow of the sculpture, then pulled them through the clay while it was wet. Everyone knows that the protons, neutrons, and electrons of the electric current will bounce off of the texture of the clay, so that nothing will happen. But I coated the clay with large amounts of neon gas, which is an excellent conductor of electricity. After covering the wires with protective plastic, I painted the sculpture, and took the plastic off, then screwed rainbow bulbs over the wires and connected the wires into potatoes. Yes, potatoes, because potatoes can conduct up to two-hundred trillion, billion mega-watts of electricity. Then it was done.

Now, go back and read all of that. I know you better than _you_ know you.

I would've kept the sculpture, but I let Miss Walloch have it. Only because she was showing alot of cleavage that day.

Okay, I would've given it to her if she were in a Barney suit.

That woman is irresistible.

She smells like peppermint on Mondays and Tuesdays, and on Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays, she smells like blooming daisies. And I found out yesterday that on Saturdays, she smells like cotton candy. Mmm.

Sunday. I have to know about Sunday.

... I'm freaking the hell out of myself.

I know every kid in school looks at her the way I do. At least half the way I do, I bet-

Wow, I just walked all the way to the bathroom, took a whaz, and now I'm washing my hands, all while talking to you.

I'm such a beast.

My head nearly snaps off my body as the bathroom door slams shut, and a huffy redhead makes her way into the- OMIGOD IT'S CECE.

My knees- I can't feel my knees. They just like, freaking_ melted_, and she comes up, RIGHT next to me.

Oh gosh, my problem. My hyperventilation problem, it's coming, I feel it. She's so close to me. Oh God.

I realize that my hands stop moving and I'm staring at her longer than I should, but I physically can't take my eyes off her. Despite the little cuts that flaw her lower lip and cheek, the soft, porcelain skin decorates the frame of it, with her little red hair flailed around her head, and her eyebrows tucked downwards in annoyance. She tries running her fingers through her hair, trying to get come order out of it, but growls as it seems it does no difference.

My lungs are starting to constrict and I open my mouth slightly to take in some air but not so much that I open my mouth wide and look like an idiot; It doesn't help.

I wonder if I told her that she looks beautiful like this, would she take it wrong.

She probably_ would_ take it wrong, because... Well, CeCe's not very... Bright.

"Urgh, stupid fucking hair!"

The bell rings and she groans before catching my eyes, and by now my vision is blurred, I can't feel my body, and I see three beautiful, red-headed angles, raising an eyebrow at me. The last I catch is the sound of heels fading out the restroom.

She looked... At _me._

Then, it's dark.

* * *

><p>"You fainted, hun." Nurse Kelly says to me as she sits over me, reading some magazine. By the way, did I mention that Nurse Kelly is pretty? "Huh?"<p>

Really, really pretty... Red-headed, and has a pretty smile, and the best beach body ever.

... I swear I'm developing Tourette's...

"Apparently you collapsed in the restroom and Trixie found you. She's my new assistant. Says hi, Trix," Nurse Kelly murmurs as she nods her head over to Nurse Trixie.

...Wow.

_Where_ are all these beautiful woman coming from? "Raquel, you see me a lot during the year, but never for something like this. What happened, hun?" I love when she calls me that.

"I, uh, I was... Hot."

"It's only fifty-seven degrees today. And I was just testin' ya, you had a hyperventilation-induced-panic-attack."

I sit up on the mighty uncomfortable bed, and- Jesus, is that my _underwear_? "Is that?... Are th-those my-"

"Yeah, we had to check and make sure you didn't fracture anything when you collapsed," Trixie says, fluttering her eyes and smiling at me and... God, why do you do this to me? "I'm gonna go to class now." I quickly stand up (Subtly grabbing my underwear), then quickly lose my balance, thus falling forward and nearly breaking my face in the process. Nurse Trixie gently pulled me up and tapped my nose. "Be careful, Raquel."

If I break my ass will she tap that too?

One can only wonder.

I slip out of the nurses' office with a pass and make my way to fourth period.

I _don't_ like girls.

XxX

So far, I have had the worst day ever.

So, I was at lunch, going to sit at my table and finish reading _Princess in Pink_, but then I tripped. Boy, did I trip.

I tripped, and went face first to the ground. And my food went spilling all over me. I remained on the ground for a few more seconds, because the only thing my body can register is pain and the sound of laughter. I pull my face up, and my heart actually stops, and breaks.

Ty, my brother, is standing there, holding himself and guffawing, and his friend Deuce is rolling on the ground, killing- himself-laughing, but that's not what truly hurts me the most.

My glasses are smeared with an unknown substance, but I can still see perfectly what hurts me. What hurts me is that CeCe Jones is standing there with tears in her eyes, pointing at me, and laughing herself off. She's then crouching on the floor, saying,"It- It hurts, ohmigod!" And still pointing at me, laughing and trying catch her breath. I pull myself up, and make my way out of the lunchroom in a dash, leaving my book and my food forgotten. Everything was just in pain.

Everything just hurt.

After my unsettling public embarrassment, I try to reduce the tears that threaten to fall, and I succeed in that, trying to remember that majority of those idiots aren't going to make it into Harvard and I am. Ignorant twits. I changed my clothes (I always keep a second pair for safety) and headed to the Art Room for the remainder of the lunch period, as that's the only place where it's empty this period, and I can work on assignments and not be bothered by paper targeted at the back of my head.

With a silent sigh, I look at the art around me. Just paintings of-

... Is that a... Is that penis?...

And while I finish up my math, now disgusted, I hear my name over the intercom,"Raquel Blue, please report to the office, Raquel Blue, please report to the office." And internally thank God/Cameron Diaz that I don't have to face the eyes of eighth graders. They've probably gotten a nickname for me now... Again.

It's only gotten worse since CeCe moved into town.

Toad legs, Run-Up-Get-Done-Up, Vicky McVirgin, Gold Star (I hate that one), Quadruple-Eyes (I guess it makes her feel smarter instead of using the word 'four'.) Some of things she calls me, I just don't understand. Like, this one.

Orange.

...?

All in all, she calls me a lot of things... And since she noticed my bad front tooth last week, now I've been deemed Bugs Bunny.

I sometimes despise that I love her.

I enter the office with a gentle push on the door, and see Ms. Walloch smiling at me. My spirits are lifted a little bit, and I take a seat in her leather chair.

"Miss Blue, are you okay?" I nod. "I was told about your... Incident, at lunch, and I figured that the least you wanted was a break from all these kids. Oh, here," she says, gently pushing my forgotten book towards me. I mutter,"Thank you."

"As you know, there's been numerous breakouts of fights this month, with the same particular person, and I want to put an end to it. Seeing that you are one of my best students in, well, the school, I think you're the perfect girl for the job. So, I'm going to assign a task to you. You are going to be my new monitor."

I really, _really_ hope she means I get to monitor her. "Student monitor." Dammit. "For the rest of this month, you will be assigned to that student, and you will monitor her actions." Her?... "You will also help her with her studies, because, well, she ain't doin' so well. Oh, excuse my southern side."

OMG THAT WAS FREAKING ADORABLE.

"Are you up to it?" I give her a weak smile, and nod. "Alright then. Cecelia, come on out." ...Cecelia? Who's Cecelia?

"The name is CeCe Jones. Come on, Jennifer, you _know_ that." Ms. Walloch ignores the girl's remark to her first name, and points to the seat... Next?To me. "Take a seat, Cecelia."

Wait.

CeCe.

I have to monitor...?CeCe Jones?For a... _Month_?

"Jennifer, you're really not gonna make me waste my time with Ally McAbstinece here are you?"

"I'm Principle Walloch to you, _no_t Jennifer. Miss Jones, Raquel is great inspiration to numerous kids around the school, and I think it'd be great if you stepped in the same path path as her- Raquel, are you okay? You look a little pale..."

I'm gonna die.

"I'm fine," I squeak. CeCe slouches in her chair and her shirt rides up and- Oh my God, she has the most fiercest abs I've ever seen. But besides that.

I'm gonna start hyperventilating again. "Cecelia, can you handle a month with Raquel?"

"Whatever, I guess." She... She actually said?...Yes? "As long as she doesn't touch me or whatever... I don't want Princess Fruity-Cooties..." ... I feel like a feather right now...

Everything is all blurry?... "So, starting tomorrow you'll be... -Rocky? Are yo- ... Jesus, not aga- EWWW, DON'T TOUCH M-... She's drooling on-... Is she dea-... She's out like Kanye..."

And that's the last of what I heard.

And although my body was nonfunctional, my brain was wide awake, and my mind was screaming in my ears.

Raquel Blue and CeCe Jones, together.

Me and CeCe were going to be _together_.

Then, I see black.

* * *

><p>So, apparently, I have a faintinghyperventilation/panic attack problem, and I need to stay home for the rest of the day. This is purely unacceptable.

I'm sitting in my room on my bed, still trying not to go into a coma at the thought of being in the same room as CeCe, when there's no one around but us. Although I'm 99.9% sure that CeCe hates my guts, I still can't believe she actually agreed to it. I'm gonna have to watch her through school, and that means gym.

I don't have gym, so I'm predicting I just get to watch.

Hell yes.

But then again, why would CeCe stick with me for even more than a second? Like I said, it's pretty obvious she hates me. The first time we met at school, I can still remember those first, same... Colorful words.

'Are you from Texas? 'Cuz your forehead can't BE any bigger.'

Such a good memory.

I need to get a grip of myself... CeCe purely despises me with a passion. I can't keep on thinking that this is gonna somehow change her view towards me. I'm still Vicky McVirgin, I'm still the girl who blacks out wherever she goes, I'm still... Me. And I can conclude that CeCe will never seem to accept that.

I sigh as Tiffany saunters up to me and lays on my lap and meows. "I am not freaking out, Tiff. It's just?You know how long I've loved CeCe."

Tiffany meows again. "A month is too a long time!" ... "Can we count in light-months?" She hissed at me and jumped off of my lap, and I straightened my glasses as a knock at the door caught my attention.

Yay, the pizza guy is here!

I grab my twelve dollars and rush out of my room and to the front door, and- Dammit, AGAIN?

"Ow..." I push myself off the floor and frown at my hand. My money is all crinkled now. I hate that. I straighten my glasses once again, and open the door to...

So. _Not_. The pizza guy.

"Buhfluhbaguh..."

Why does my mouth hate me so damn much?

"Um, okay?..." CeCe. At my door. In my house. She slides past me and claps her hands together. "Let's get one thing straight, Er... Rachel? We are not friends. I'm only here because my mom is killing me about grades this year, and you're a nerd, so you can help me. So, let's get started."

She's?Talking to me and not directly making an insult. "Raquel."

She gives me a blank look. "What?"

"My name... It's Raquel." I look down at me feet as she continues burning holes into me with her eyes, and she snorts with laughter. I remain quiet.

"_Raquel_? Are you a Mormon or something?" I let out a silent sigh. "Can we just get to the part where you help me pass school? And what the hell are you looking at? Is there a piece of lint shaped like George Bush down there?"

My eyes snap up at her snide comment, and I sigh again. "Principle Walloch said that we don't start until tomorrow..."

"Ugh, well, whatever then. I'm missing the _Bad Girls Club_ anyway." And just like that, my first ever, real conversation with CeCe Jones was over. She confuses me when she walks over to my fire escape and opens it up. "...Why're you using the fire escape?" I will never know how I managed to open my mouth.

"My house is right below yours, smart ass." I was glad that mother wasn't home; She'd probably kill me for letting a girl like CeCe in the house...

She disappears out my fire escape and I mentally check again that I just had a conversation with CeCe. "By the way, I'm not going around hanging with someone with a name like _Raquel_. Your name'll be..." She appears again in the fire escape.

She bites her lip...

It's freaking adorable.

I just wanna eat her up and out and in every possible way...

That was very, non-subtly dirty.

But I can't deny the truth.

"Rocky."

Rocky... Rocky Blue. "Bye, loser!" And she's gone again.

CeCe Jones gave _me_ a nickname. Rocky.

... Rocky and CeCe.

I don't why... But that phrase just has heaven's ring to it.

* * *

><p><strong>Yes, yes... A new story. Like a newborn baby it is; It keeps you up at ungodly hours, you have to change it, and it cries. <strong>**Well, this baby is crying for reviews. ****Do you know what is more better than money? And prostitutes? Reviews. (Although, I doubt Candy from down the street would say this. She's got orange hair. I prefer blue-headed prostitutes.)**

**But really, review. **

**My foot itches.**

**... ****:)**

**Seriously, though, do you have like some foot cream?**

**Eh, I'll just call Candy. ****She'll fix my frown :]**

**REVIEW!**


	2. Spikes In My Throat

**Disclaimer: I only own a stupid internet folder that has a trollface as it's illustration, and it laughs. It laughs as I sob in the corner, waiting for my carrot to return. Come home, Forest.**

**A/N: So I already had chapter two typed, but because of the ever-so-lovely file-saving format of (And by that I mean it's fucking-bitchiness/retardedness/stupidness/Miley-Cyrus-ness) I lost my file, so I had to re-type this whole entire thing, and I have a shit-terrible memory. I hope it's pretty much like the last one.**

**Fucking Fucknuggets... FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU-**

* * *

><p>"Guys, look at at Rocky, she's such an nerd outcast girl."<p>

The boys behind me snicker, and I keep my dignity, moving to a table that's farther away from them, and out of their view. What the hell are they doing in the school library anyway? God knows they don't even know what the purpose of one is. My glasses proceed to fall off my face as I settle at the table, the empty, dark table.

Ugh, I really need to get rid of these crappy glasses.

... But if I do, I won't be able to see, and that means I can't see CeCe. I'll manage.

So, CeCe didn't show up for the tutoring. But I kinda was expecting that.

Yay! Mom packed my gluten-free chocolate chip cookies! I'm not allergic to gluten or anything, my throat just swells up and my stomach acids start to reject the substances in the cookie batter, causing me to puke. You know, little things.

And you are probably wondering why I'm eating lunch in the library. Well, you know about my incident... Everytime I try and even step foot into that place, I'm bombarded by laughs and taunts; So until someone else creates an incident much more controversial and irrational, I am forced to eat my lunch in the library, alone.

"Dude, I totally scored with CeCe yesterday. We got to third base." My ears nearly pop at the mention of CeCe's name, and I intently listen in to whoever is narrating his memory. "I was feelin' her tits man, she's not that big with the bogs but damn, she sure can make a boy feel happy. My tongue was in her mouth and shit, but she didn't get to ride my turkey train... She said somethin' about not wanting to have an ugly baby..." I snort with laughter, much too loudly which gets me a glare from a librarian.

My turkey sandwich is all soggy now. Ew.

That tale just basically ruined my day, now that I know CeCe... Gets around. Well, then again, that could be just him, but I don't know whether CeCe has a boyfriend or not. My sources (My eyes and my guts) tell me that CeCe doesn't have a boyfriend at the moment, and I hope she stays that way.

I wish she'd stay that way.

XxX

"Rocky, I'm going on a business trip for a few days, so Ty is staying at Deuce's house, I don't trust him alone with my house. Can you handle being alone for a few days, baby?" I look up at my mother and she's giving me a sincere, apologetic smile. "I gotta keep up with the work around here, or else we're gonna start using that box in the closet as our home. Your dad hasn't been up to date with all the payments, so, you know how it is. I'll be leaving tonight, so please, don't lock yourself up in your room."

I can't really express my joy right now, I'm still going through the CeCe-Actually-Said-Yes phase. "I'll be fine mom."

"Alright, and stay out of trouble, although I don't think I need to say that to my most responsible, sensible daughter."

I've finished my math, English, and Spanish homework, and now I've got absolutely nothing to do. It's only four o'clock and I'm done.

Can you say 'White Chicks?'

I usually really hate movies such as that, but this movie deserves several Grammies. Now all I have to do is call up some of my friends!

...

Oh.

Where's Tiffany? "Tiffy? Tiffany, where are you?" I hear a hiss behind the couch, that freaking scares the crap out of me, but I anxiously peer behind it anyway. I can feel myself trembling, and my glasses (Oddly) begin to fog up. I exhale in relief as I see Tiffany clawing and struggling my shoe... "Tiff, I've told you once and I'll tell you again, shoes did NOT create dogs!"

I swear, my cat has the IQ of... Everyone at my school.

A few hours later, my mother has said her farewells and Ty has abandon me, and Tiff is... Somewhere that's not here, so I am basically completely and utterly alone.

I guess it's time to break out my_ Totally Spies_ Blue-Rays, hehe.

God, I wish Clover was real... She's SO hot, considering she has the exact personality of CeCe.

Oh dear. Here I go again.

If you haven't noticed by now, everything, and I mean everything corresponds right back to CeCe. For instance, yesterday I was in class, laerning about linear functions, freaking _linear functions_, and then I asked myself: What number what I use as the slope number to get to CeCe's house?

She's has completely infected my life. She's exactly like an STD; I will probably end up dying for her.

I snuggled under my star-splattered sheets with my fluffy slippers warming my feet. My movie has started, and there's nothing to add to my so-called paradise. But then, I shortly slip away from my movie, and let my thoughts take over.

This is the time where I usually begin to think deeper than I should, about how Principle Walloch told me to help CeCe, how CeCe accepted this challenge, and how I always think that things are going to get better between us- Why do I say 'Going to get better' when we never actually had anything developed?

My entire agenda is filled with hearts, and stick figures, and 'CeCe & Rocky's, colored with red and purple. I tend to never write anything in there, so instead I substitute it for my... Diary of love.

That sounds so retarded.

"Fucking FUCK!"

I literally stumble off my sofa and scramble to turn on the lights, because the yell that just echoed through my living room scared _the shit_ out of me. My fingers are still wrapped tightly around my blanket, and the last thing I expect to see is a redhead, red-faced. She slams the door (I swear I hear a crack) and takes hesitant steps towards me. My fight or flight instincts -Which in reality means duck and cover or haul my ass away- are roaring, and I wonder if I'm the cause of CeCe's new-found anger.

CeCe's in my house.

In my house.

Touching my floor.

In_ my_ house.

But she's... Crying.

Little droplets continue to make the slow way down the tinted cheeks, fists still clenched and teeth still grinding. I've lost my ability to speak (even that always happens when I'm around CeCe) but this time, I'm afraid that if I do say something, my glasses will be surely be stuck in my rectum.

"I- I fucking hate _him_. Why can't there just be one happy day for me? That stupid little foreign bitch and his stupid fake blonde hair. I fucking told his flaming gay ass self NOT to tell anyone. Now today, I'm walking through the halls and I hear someone else yell 'Alphabet Eyes' or some shit like that, and I had to take some bitch down today for thinking that she could get away saying that I dial '1-1-9' instead of '9-1-1'. Now I'm suspended for two days, which means that I'm gonna miss the test that I've been studying for all fucking day, and-"

CeCe takes a deep breath and sniffles and covers her face with her hands... She seemed so... Exposed.

I'm trying to figure out what she's talking about, but I all I can see is pain.

I think this is the only time where I really see CeCe without my sex-goddess-goggles on; I don't whether to touch or not, she might slap me or something, but comfort is really the only thing I can offer at the moment.

I dare my issues to surface when I gently touch CeCe's wrist; She immediately stops, and I swear I see her lifting her opposite hand to falcon punch me in the face, but instead dabs away her tears, only proving to smear her mascara even more.

I lead her to my sofa and let her settle there. "C-can I stay here tonight? My brother is at some little nerd's house and my mom is working late at the station... I don't wanna go to anybody else, they'll probably just laugh... You're really like a 'Plan Z' for me."

My heart slowly crumbles upon seeing the usual bright amber eyes full of misery. "You're welcome here anytime, CeCe." I hear a quiet mumble and I retreat back to my room to prepare my bed. Oh GOD, CeCe's staying here tonight! I need my lint roller, I need to fluff my pillows, I-

Shit. CeCe's staying at my house. Shit on a birthday cake, CeCe Jones is staying at my house.

Oh God, I'm gonna hyperventilate. Where's my paper bag?

I'm gonna puke- But if I do it's gonna get on the floor, there's germs and icky stuff.

I'm going to die.

That's when a scream nearly takes my ears out. I rush back to where CeCe is located and I find her. And Tiffany. CeCe has her arms covering her face, trying to maintain her beauty for dear life, while my cat?... Is trying to kill her.

"Tiffany! Get _off_ CeCe!" When that name reaches my cat's ear, it only proves to intensify her temper and her claws come out. I quickly grab her before she takes out CeCe's face, and I drag my retarded cat into the kitchen and snap at her. "What the_ hell_ is wrong with you? Why are you attacking CeCe?"

_"Meow?" _

"Yes, that's her, the girl that ruins my life but still, that's no good reason for you to go all Catwoman on her!"

"Meow, meow!"

"She's had a bad day, Tiff. Give her at least a little leeway. Now go to sit in the corner in my room. And do NOT touch my diary." I ignore Tiffany when she yells that she already hears me narrate it at night. Ugh.

I nervously tip-toe back into the living room; If CeCe's gone I just might cry. I instead find her hiding under my blanket. I inwardly sigh with relief. "I took my cat upstairs." CeCe's head pops out from under the blanket, and she panting with wide eyes.

"Dude, what the _fuck_ is wrong with your cat? If that clump of fur comes anywhere near me again, I'll give it to the Chinese restaurant down the road; They fucking love cats. Your hear that you deranged bitch-cat? Come at me bro!"

I can only imagine what Tiffany says, until I hear a loud hiss from my room. "Do you wanna... Change, or anything?"

The clothes that CeCe are sporting look skin-tight, and very uncomfortable. The least I can do is give her a pair of my PJ's... But she might puke at the thought of touching my clothes.

"Yeah, these clothes are tighter than _me_."

Tighter than her? What does that mea- Oh... Oh GOD.

WHAT?

And I'm choking and sputtering for air. "C-come again?" She's gives me that usual 'What the fuck is your problem' look and she_ correctly_ repeats,"I said, these clothes are tighter than my detention schedule. Do you have lint in your ears or something?"

I'm so sick.

I awkwardly nod and stumble into my room, seeing my cat giving me a look. I sigh. "What, what is it?"

She gives a little shrug, if possible for cat, and I hear her meow. I gasp. "I did not mishear CeCe!" Before Tiff can respond I march out the room and hand CeCe what I thought was a good choice for her: A tank top and some pajama bottoms. She gives them a blank look before grabbing them and retreating to my kitchen.

I make my way to my room, not wanting to wonder what CeCe could be doing in there. I heard in inside the knife draw, so I could tell it wouldn't be good.

Ah, why hello Mr. Laptop. You're looking quite sexual today.

_Crap_, I better hide my favorites and downloads... It wouldn't be a very good scenario if CeCe found me harboring a shit-load of pictures of her in my files. I quickly work my magic and then all my fantasies are locked away. Ah, the AV club- Hiding their porn since 2005.

"Hey Goliath, listen- I am not your friend. I'm not your pal, I'm not your buddy, I'm not even your acquaintance. I'm only here because everyone else is too fucking stupid to comprehend my problems." I wonder what her problem could be, and why it had her bursting into my home and yelling profanities, but instead I keep quiet. "When I'm asleep, don't touch, fondle, probe, or gaze at any of my body parts. My foot will be up your flat ass in two seconds flat if so is to happen. Understood? Jenni- Principle Walloch said you only have to monitor me, she didn't say I have to love you, or like you for that matter."

I turn around to CeCe's voice, who has cut up my PJ bottoms and turned them into short-shorts, but I'm not worried about that. I wish my glasses could cover up the tears that are threatening to spill from my eyes, but I remember; She never said she hates me. Not yet anyway.

I'm guessing her mood is back considering the speech she just gave, so I watch her slide into my bed and drape the covers her. My spare blanket that is tucked under my bed is pulled out and I climb into my bed, turning off the lamp beside me. My glasses are placed on the bedside table, and I begin to wonder about tonight.

I can't stop thinking about why CeCe's here; Why she came to my house, of all places. And I really wanna figure out what her self-proclaimed problem is, so I can fix it, and make her happy. Just to see a smile on her face would be enough for me. I overheard her say something while I was in the kitchen with Tiff-  
>That she'd rather swallow rusty, used razor blades soaked in nuclear waste than rather being my friend.<p>

I really didn't wanna think about that statement, but now it sends little spikes down my throat and a tear down my cheek. I don't let the second tear get away though; She never said she hates me.

I tighten my hand on my blanket and squeeze my eyes shut.

Yet, I feel like she's so close to saying it.

* * *

><p><strong>-UUUUUUUCCK. My throat hurts now. I'm just... Ugh.<strong>

**Awww, review for Rocky-angst. Rangst... That sounds like a Jamaican name. But anyway AWWW ROCKY**

**I didn't like how this turned out, I dragged alot, but you know what? I don't matter- Just tell me your true thoughts on this chapter by reviewing. **

**By the way, if you didn't like it, you can go take seat next to that decaying corpse over there. Her name was Jill. **

**She was nice.**

**Review for Jill.**


	3. The Shining Knight

**Disclaimer: I do not the ze Shake It Up! You are aware of zis, yes? Ze show with ze dancing, and ze singing, and ze teenage boobies. I wish I could have ze teenage boobies. Ze are niiice, no?**

* * *

><p>Oh my God.<p>

CeCe. Came to my house last night. And today, TODAY we start our tutoring and monitoring. Right now I'm checking my outfit for wrinkles or blemishes before I leave for school. For CeCe, I have to be... Perfect.

_"Meow?"_ "Tiff, I'm not obsessing over this, can't I dress nice for someone?" _"Meow."_ "Because one day CeCe and I will have the most beautiful family and own a Space Station." _"Meowahaha!"_ "Space stations _are_ too cool... Whatever, choke on your hairballs, see you at... Whenever."

I rush out the house, trying so desperately to get to school faster.

And when I arrive at school, I make sure to give my homeroom teacher my class-pass. I avoid looking at him, because of his lazy eyes. Yes, both eyes. Not a good sight. He grins... Slightly creepily at me, and says,"Carry on, Raquel. You're a great student, and a great girl, in and out of school." Time to go.

My legs start to get numb as I approach the room Principle Walloch assigned for me and CeCe to study in. She wanted us to start off with academics first, much to CeCe's displeasure. I wasn't very excited about the fact that we had to study in the Art Room, with...

_That_ picture.

It's not that I have anything against a penis, it's just the fact that there's a penis hanging on the wall... It's just, _out there._ I mean, it'd be the same way if was a vagina drawing, cause I'm not gay or anything. I love penis, and that's good because I'm an eighth grade girl, and eighth grade girls love penises, right?

No?... Yes?... Oh look, CeCe.

She's so pretty when she walks down the hall, or when she's talking to someone, or- OH MY GOD SHE'S COMING TOWARDS ME.

My mom searched online on what to do about my hyperventilation/panic-attack/fainting problem, and it all came back with one solution: Breath deeply.

Now, excuse me if I'm wrong, but isn't breathing APART of the problem? "Hey, loser, let's get started." She looks beautiful this morning, as if any other morning is a difference from this one. She still has little scratches and scars that flaw her lips, but it's overshadowed by miles of beauty that could last forever. CeCe is always dressed in her cute little boat shoes, crop tops and her sexy skinny jeans, ripped at the legs, all the way up to her thighs...

Oh hai there abs. You look nice today. Wait, _sexy?_-

Jesus Christ on a bicycle, she's touching me.

CeCe's touching me and Oh my God I'm gonna die, she's grabbing my arm and pulling me and I think I just came.

"Move your goddamn feet, quad-eyes." ... Well, at least she didn't call me Bugs Bunny.

We make our way through the hallways, odd looks being thrown towards CeCe as she pulls me along. She does her best and ignores them until we make our way into the Art Room. She plops me down and pulls off her tote bag, then proceeding to sigh longingly. "Well, start tutoring." She takes a seat across from me as I pull out my books. "Er, what do you wanna start with?"

"Are you related to Ty?"

The question comes out of nowhere and I resist to roll my eyes. "Unfortunately, yes, he's my brother."

"How are you related to Ty? He's freaking _smoking_ hot and, well, you're not." I clear my throat as a sharp pain stabs at my heart; I ignore it. I'm used to the feeling, especially when she's the cause of it.

"... Let's just get started."

Half an hour passes by and I see little-to-no progress. At first, she was into it, but now, I can see that CeCe doesn't wanna actually_ learn_ anything, but I'm not giving up. I have crushed on this girl for too long, and to give up on her now is like... Giving up on CeCe. I straighten my glasses on my nose and sigh. "Okay, what radical is equal to the square root of four-hundred-fourty-one?"

CeCe fiddles at her long french tips and mumbles,"Isn't 'radical' an adjective for surfers?"

I sigh and push my book away. All my internal shyness is pushed away and I exhale again,"CeCe, what's the problem? I'm trying to help you, and you not even attempting to do any of the work isn't helping either, so tell me what's wrong, so I can fix it." I'm guessing this problem that didn't show itself last night wants to make an appearance now.

"There's nothing that you could do anyway..."

I try sweet talking her. "I'm positive I can fix the problem."

The redhead glares at me. "You can't fix it, smart ass." I recoil at the venomous words and softly ask,"Fix what?"

She stands up, turning away and growling,"Dyslexia! You can't fix dyslexia, can you?" I remain silent as she peers daggers at me. "Exactly." She settles into her seat, and her voice gets softer. "Everyday it's the same thing; Reading and writing and numbers and letters; It's all so tangled and confusing, and I know I can't do a fucking thing about it. It ruins my life, you say right, I step left, you write 'p' and I'll write a 'q'. It just... I hate it."

Silence fills the room, until she speaks again. Her voice cracks along the way. "And I thought you would help me, at least a little bit, but you just criticize like all my other teachers. I'm _afraid,_ Rocky. Afraid of what they'll say if they find some childish mistake on my paper, like a 'p' upside down, and laugh at me. _That's_ why I fail. Do you know how I'd feel?"

The tension in the room wears away, and CeCe picks up her tote bag, quietly saying,"... Can we stop for today?"

I nod and let her go. She stands up and slowly walks away, but not before turning around.

"Don't tell _anyone_." She turns and gently scoffs, saying to herself,"Like _you'd_ have anyone to tell." She walks away, leaving me pondering about her, and how she maintains such beauty, and a strong heart.

A beautiful, strong girl.

XxX

Well, so far, I didn't get to see CeCe undress for gym (Dammit) but I do get to see her jump around in the shortest-shorts of shorts-history. I listen to Coach Williams (Our hot blonde gym coach) talk to the girls, and I'm sitting in the bleachers, trying to spot CeCe-

Oh... Oh _WOW._

I found CeCe... I found CeCe sitting with her legs spread open like a pedophile's arms.

Oooh, she shops at Victoria's Secret.

"Alright girls, crunch-up's, then jogging, let's go!" CeCe's groan of dismay is the loudest, and all the girls giggle, only because it sounded sexual.

I didn't giggle.

CeCe pairs up with her friend, also a pro-con artist chick, Dina Garcia, and CeCe lies down. I smile to myself as CeCe's shirt rides up, and I catch a glimpse of her abs. I'd bring my camera to school, but I'm afraid one of the hall monitors might catch me and confiscate it, and then I have to go_ through_ the cafeteria to get it back, and I hate going in there since... Well, you know.

But to the point, CeCe's abs definently needing framing.

At approximately eleven-thirty-two AM, CeCe caught me staring at her and gave me the finger.

I wish it was two.

ZING!

I'm definently getting used to this.

I watch as CeCe comes up, and drops back down. Dina is sharpening her nails, when CeCe finally kicks her off, and gives up... After fifteen crunch-up's. Then again, I, myself can't really do crunch-up's at all, so I can't blame her.

My eyes stay gazing upon CeCe as she's flopped on the ground, and my eyes wander across her body. Her bangs are... Dampened to her forehead, and her face is... Flustered, and hot. And her chest rises up and down, with her shirt risen up to a point where I saw her beautiful abs again. Her legs... Her legs are open again, and I conclude all of my findings.

Red face, sweaty body, panting furiously, spread legs.

Oh dear.

It's back.

At approximately eleven fifty-eight AM, I blacked out for two minutes, and when I woke up, I found a sticky note stuck to my forehead. I recognized the handwriting immediately.

- _Stop staring at me you freaking lesbo geek._

_P.S. You should really consider taking a spitball-defendant class._

_- CeCe_

This note smells nice.

I look down at my jeans.

I'm burning my jeans.

Ugh, who even brings paper to gym?

* * *

><p><em>"Meow?"<em>

"She like, exploded on me, Tiff. I didn't know that she had dyslexia in the first place, but I should've noticed that something was off when she wouldn't do anything. I'm so stupid."

_"Meow,_ _meowww_!" I finish making my bed up and Tiffany jumps up next to me, sliding her tail along my arm. "Tiff, I know CeCe can do it, I just gotta get her to believe she can do it."

_"Meow?"_ I blush furiously as my glasses nearly fall off my nose. "No, we're not gonna have a study date. CeCe... She doesn't like me, Tiff. In fact, I'm pretty sure she wishes she never met me. And I also think she likes Ty." I try to think of happier thoughts as my cat ask,_"Meow?"_

"She was... Making out with him in the hallway." I had been going to the bathroom (I swear I have a bladder problem) and when I saw a flash of red hair, my head was instinctively dragged in the direction of it. But then I saw my brother, his hands placed on her rear, CeCe's fingers dragging through his hair, and their lips tearing at eachother's; After that, I didn't have the urge to be at school, let alone be alive anymore. My brother, making out with CeCe.

Tiffany hisses,_"Meow, meow, Meow." _I raise my eyebrows. "Tiff, that's... It's not nice to call girls those kind of things." Tiffany points her nose in the air and jumps off the bed. Looking at my alarm clock, I see that it's nearly eleven o'clock and turn off the lights, proceeding to snuggle under my supa comfy covers. My glasses are set on my night stand, and I close my eyes.

I wonder sometimes it CeCe really, truly hates me.

Yesterday was just a blurry preview of her towards me. I know that she really didn't have anyone else to go to, so she came to me. But she still stomps my feelings into the ground.

All the insults, the mockery- What is it for? Now I know.

I think it's all just her insecurities. To fit in with the 'Cool-Kid' crowd, to be popular and pretty. But I can see inside of her. She's really just like a knight- She's got skin made of metal, sharp and shiny and for everyone to gaze and fawn upon, but inside of the amour, she's vulnerable to pain, and sensitive to the wrong feelings. Her dyslexia is her pain, and she has yet to try to fight it, so she keeps her amour shined, and instead, takes her pain out on me.

So, she doesn't hate me.

If she did really hate me, she wouldn't agree to this chaos-

Hey, when did my window open?

"Urgh, I hate your fucking brother!"

Holy Diaz in a porno, CeCe's in my ROOM.

Breathe. Breathe. Can't breathe. Seeing double-CeCe.

... Oooh, two of CeCe. That'd be amazing.

Oh, CeCe's still here.

I scramble out of my bed and turn the lights on, seeing a redhead there with a beet-red face, fist clenched and-

Hm. Does her face get that red when she's in bed? I'll have to test that... Someday. "CeCe, wha- How'd you get in my roo-"

"Tell your skanky brother that I'm sick of giving him chances. We're done and over with, so he can go fuck Angelica and Caroline and Judi and all those other whores in the back of his old ass BMW for all I fucking care." My mouth hangs open as I try to register the words coming from her mouth.

I wonder if she curses in bed as much as she curses now. I'll have to test that too... *Sigh* Someday.

Focus you stupid conscience! "CeCe, _please_ stop yelling, it's really late and my mom might be awa-"

"I'll yell whenever the hell I fucking want to!" She slams the window shut and I gape at her as she stomps across my room and sits on my bed.

She's sitting on _my_ bed- Still haven't washed them since yesterday.

I'm never washing those sheets again. "Look, can I... Stay... Here? Like, for tonight?Again? My mom isn't really in the mood today and she's been bitching at me for no fucking reason. Everything is so stupid lately... I just... Ugh."

"Uh, yeah, yes, sure, of course."

"I got it the first time, stupid." She lays on the bed (Oh my God, never EVER washing these again) and scoots away from me as far as the bed will let her get, and mutters,"We're still not friends. And I _swear_ if I wake up with your arm around me, I'm ripping it off and shoving it straight up your ass. Understand?"

I give weak noise in response and scoot a little farther away from her.

That actually kind of scares me.

I wonder why I'm reacting to her presence in a completely foolish and retarded way when she was just at my house, in my bed yesterday. But I remember that her queen-bee attitude had been shot down yesterday, and she was so... fragile, and hopeless.

"... Do you think I'm pretty?"

I'm pretty sure if I try to answer that, I'll accidently confess my love for her. "Er, yes, you're pretty."

"Why're you lying?" My head nearly snaps as I turn my face to her. How dare she accuse me of not being truthful to a question like that. "Do you want me to be honest?"

"You're really dumb for a smart person."

"CeCe, you are one of the most prettiest girls I've ever seen- Beautiful is an understatement. Without you, I- _The world_ would be incomplete." It's quiet again, until she speaks up.

"Look, you're still a lame-ass-nerd with no social life, and I still don't like you, but... _Please,_ don't tell anybody about my... Problem. I don't wanna face what you do." I'm only forgiving her for that one because she came here in her pajamas and it shows sexy CeCe-abs.

"Cross my heart."

"You better be serious, or I'm sticking a cross_ through_ your heart... Night, Rocky."

"G'night, CeCe."

She called me Rocky, _again_.

...We're gonna get married.

Someday.

* * *

><p><strong>Aww, so fluffy, yet so angsty. It vill get better, soon my big-bosomed-friend. <strong>

**I want ze reviews, yet you don't give me any. Why? I give you free boobies, ze are real! I want reviews, GIVE ME ZE REVIEWS. Zon't you understand? Reviews ARE ze boobies!**

**Oh, how I vant ze reviews.**

**You still zon't understand?**

**Review, you feel less stupid then you already are.**


	4. I'm Okay, I Promise

**Disclaimer: If I marry that fancy young lad down the block, maybe I'll get him to buy me Shake It Up, and three-thousands thumb tacks. I hope he likes thumbs tacks in his mashed potatoes too. I wonder if he likes blood in his mashed potatoes. No, internal-organ-red doesn't go good with his eyes.**

* * *

><p>This is possibly going to be the best day ever. My bread is prepared, I'm bringing<em> Pretty In Pink <em>to read to the ducks, and my new edition of _Skyrim, _possibly the best game ever developed, arrived this morning. If I didn't have gum in my mouth, I'd scream. Well, not scream, just give a little noise of excitement, I don't wanna draw attention.

It reads exactly 9:00 AM on my watch, and I smile in delight. As I began my exit out of my house, I notice Ty's boxers. Disgusting. My little-backpack is comfortable on my shoulders, and I quietly slip out the front door.

The morning sun feels wonderful to me, even though it makes an irritating glare on my glasses. I love sunny days, how perfect they can be. "Raquel, aren't you up early and bright?" And it just gets better and better. William Cloud, my wonderful Abercrombie-looking-model neighbor two doors down from me, is giving me his white-teethed smile, with his green eyes glittering, his dark hair ruffled and unkept at the moment, and his blue robe showing off a little more than his chiseled chest. "Where ya headed?"

"I'm just going to the park, catch up on my book and feed the ducks. What are you doing out here, half-naked?" My banter with Will has always been playful, and he rolls his eyes. "Mail. Hey, um, do you know some redhead girl came out of your house this morning?"

My throat closed up and my chest tightened. Shit. "Oh, uh, really?"

He nodded at me, a curious look on his face. "Yeah, I was down there earlier with my puppy, and she practically ran herself out your place in her pajamas, and she didn't look all too pleased either. I've seen her around the building before but I've never seen her on this floor. Weird, huh?"

"Oh, well, ya know, it must been for Ty, you know how he is with the ladies." My awkward chuckle makes Will snort with laughter, and he makes way back into his apartment. "Sure it was," is the last thing I hear before his door shuts.

I can't believe that it's_ this_ early and I'm already back to hyperventilating.

Stupid William. Putting that sensual image back in my mind. Her flared and fiery hair, her supple pink lips, the way her abdomen ripples when she's cold. Not that I was watching her last night- For a prolonged amount of time.

Her fingers would twitch, and she'd accidently kick me off the bed; Her foot is warm.

No, you know what? It's Saturday, it's a nice day outside, and I'm going to enjoy it, CeCe-free.

And I will try not to vision every pretty girl I pass as CeCe, starting now.

Okay, starting now.

Okay, staring _now._

Okay, for real, starting _now._

Okay, maybe after this one girl, then I'll start.

XxX

It's only about 12:30 pm when I get to the ending in my book. The ducks tore my bread up, and my secluded area remains silent. I wanna lay down, but there's so many germs and parasites that could be residing on the very area that I wanna lay down on. So unsanitary. I opt to leaning back on my elbows, and continue to gaze out at the small pond. So many duckies.

One baby duck has a red spot of fluff on it's back, and I instantly think about CeCe.

I'm so sick. It's amazing how it's only been like, two months and yet, everything in my everyday life simply refers back to her. I still can't believe she was in my bed, let alone in my house, sleeping over. I found a sticky note pressed to my forehead (I'm starting to sense a fetish with her) and it read two words.

_Never again.  
><em>

It didn't take long for me to decipher what she meant. But it didn't really matter, she was in my bed and under the covers with me. It can only be one time, one minute, and that's enough to satisfy my heart forever.

I should be in a support group for people like me. 'Hi, I'm Raquel Blue, and I am a CeCe-sexual.'

My sigh is the only thing that breaks the silence, and I continue to let my thoughts run. I imagine if CeCe and I had been best friends from the day of birth, but then everyone would be all,'Raquel- _Rocky_ and CeCe are so close, they're just like sisters', and then my mind would imply that if I have a crush on CeCe, it's like having a crush on my sister. My mind reverts to something I heard someone shout while heading here.

_Incest: A game the whole family can play!_ I shudder and try to retract from such thoughts. Good thoughts.

My fingers lost and exploring wild, fiery red hair, while her lips gently prodded on mine. My glasses have been excused from my face, but I really don't care for them anyway; My hands will do all the seeing from now on.

My face drifts into a frown; I think way too much for my own heart's sake.

I just need to realize that maybe CeCe and I just aren't meant to be... After this entire monitoring-thing is over, I greatly suspect that CeCe is going to go back to being her snarkier-self. Hanging with the popular crowd, getting detention everyday, insulting my every feature and movement; I really think that's _all_ she comes to school for, to be honest. Just to see me tremble under her gaze. But because of the ever-so-sweet Principle Walloch, this might be a chance for her to see me, not see through me. This is why I'm going to cherish moment of this month, no matter how many insults CeCe will say.

I wonder if she knows my desperate love for her; I bet if she found out, she'd laugh. Absolutely guffaw until tears were streaming down her cheeks, and she was at loss for a breath. She'd see me, and spew terrible names and jokes, and I'd begin to tremble.

My instincts would take over, and I'd run, until my lungs collapse, and my legs are burning, and the street is gone. Until my vision is twisted and white, and my mind is screaming for me to stop, but I'll just run, to where, I don't know. I'd just keep on running.

Maybe I'm being a bit melodramatic. I'd probably just hole up in my room and cry until my eyes were puffy and my mouth was thick with bitterness.

But I remember the good things that have began to happen. She slept over at my house in the same bed as me, she had a conversation and didn't (really) insult me. And she gave me me a nickname.

Rocky.

It sounds like a name for a boxer-dog, or a name for a band member with tattoos, and dark, but colorful hair. Who would've known that it'd be a name for a quiet girl like me?

I've been repeating it since yesterday, and it oddly fits the awkward puzzle that is me. Rocky Blue.

Sometimes my thoughts can get the best of me, but I feel it. CeCe doesn't purely hate me. I just need to breakthrough that tough skin of hers, and then; Then I'll finally laugh with her, talk with her, be with her. Certainly not anytime soon, but I'm not letting her go. I'll get through to her... someday.

* * *

><p>So Skyrim officially sucks balls right now. It just crashed and I was RIGHT in the middle of battling the Wargloker's dragon. Some idiot probably took the challenge now. Ugh. Damn.<p>

"Hey fuck bucket." I don't object to her popping up in my room at anytime but how does she keep getting in here? "So, what do we study today- Is that Skyrim?"

The disc lay flat on my bed, after I had chucked it over there in my moment of anger. "Dude, that game is so gay, it's not even funny." CeCe flops on my bed (I haven't washed the sheets on it since she slept on it, mind you)

Now I wonder?Why IS CeCe here? We don't have to study today... "Err, CeCe, not to be rude, but why are you here? It's Saturday..."

I hear her sigh. "Cuz... Um, do you... Do you wanna go out?With... Me?" I could see the internal battle she had while trying to force that phrase out and- WHAT?

Yes, yes, yes, yes, dear God yes, I will marry you right now. My hyperventilation never felt so good. "... To the mall?" NO, NO, no! Noooo!

"With me and Ty?" No, no.

Fudge. Fuck. Shit. Fucking shit. "He's bringing Deuce so you can hang out with him." Oh God... Martin Deuce Martinez. He's the boyfriend to Dina Garcia, also her rival in conning people, and his eyebrows look like Chewbacca.

But all in all, he's one of the popular kids, that make fun of me, that aim all their spitballs at me, that pick on me for no reason whatsoever.

"So yeah, throw your none-fashionable-mormon clothes on and let's get going. By the way, do NOT bring any of those little... Portable nerd-games." She's obviously referring to my DSi and the large stack of Dragon Ball Z and Pokemon games resting next to it.

XxX

I didn't mean it. I couldn't help it.

"Of all the places, of all the times, today? Why the fuck today?"

My feet shift and I feel tears brimming at the corners of my eyes. I'm so stupid.

"You totally fucking embarrassed me you stupid nasal-nerd!" My fingers are folded in my lap and I silently watch CeCe pace my floor. "I had to walk through the mall smelling like your barf, your fucking _barf_ all over my shirt! With the football team standing right there! I told you, I'm not gonna wanna be seen with some girl who can't control her fucking nerd-problems because she's so weird and unsocial. I don't know why I tell myself that this whole tutoring thing is good idea, is stupid. Really stupid."

I'd hate to be too descriptive while as to what happened at the mall, but I basically puked all over CeCe after eating a hot dog, which had lots of gluten in it (And if you've forgotten, I'm deathly allergic), and I unknowingly ate it while staring at CeCe, which immediately backtracked in my stomach and it literally went _all_ over her shirt and lap.

And just to add to the chaos, half of the football team just happened to be there when it occurred, and CeCe was flirting like a kitten, smiles bright and happiness, and then I just vomited and the smile disintegrated.

"Why didn't you just lean to the other side? Instead, you wanted to fucking lean all over _me_! And you know who was there? Quinton Fabray, Remy Berry, Santiago Lopez, and Brett Pierce. They are the best players on the football team and now they're gonna talk about with all their other football friends! Ugh, everyone at school is gonna find out, then I'm gonna be 'Barf-Girl' for the rest of the year, all because of _you_."

My voice is shaking as I whisper,"I'm... sorry."

She scoffs and crosses her arms. The poison daggers in her eyes are burning and ripping through my frail and frightened limbs and she shifts her eyebrows downwards.

"Don't be sorry, Rocky. Be sorry for yourself. Be a normal girl, with normal friends, let alone _any_ friends! You're so weird, you can't even associate with another human being without tripping on your face or your ass! No, you know what? Just stay away from me. I _hate_ you and I wish we never met. Just stay the fuck away from me." She walks out of the front door and I'm left, silent and trembling. I'm okay.

Tiffany then comes running up to me, giving a little nudge at me with nose. I plaster a fake smile on my face as I nod at my cat. "I'm okay, Tiff. I promise." My nails dig into the palms of my hands and I retreat back into my room, gently closing my door.

I agree. I'm not popular, not at all. I trip over my words, I literally trip over my own feet. I have sweaty palms and awkward gestures, and I only have one friend in the world, and that's myself. But it's okay, so is the weak feeling in my legs, or the protruding lump in my throat, or the tight feeling in my chest as if my heart muscles are being impaled with claws and knives. And CeCe said that she hates me. That was like hooks were being yanked from my throat, and I would collapse at any given moment. But that's all okay.

And when I don't find a sticky-note on my face the next morning, I feel what's left of my heart shatter and shrivel and drop into the hollow of my feet. And that's all I need to realize that I'm not even a little particle in the very back, cold corner of her mind anymore, and her acknowledgement for me is no longer in existence.

The burning in my throat will go away, so will the disorted beat of my heart, and the numb feeling on my skin and in my bones.

But I'm okay.

I promise, I'm okay.

* * *

><p><strong>I'm trying my best to get to the part where you're like,'DEAR GOD WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT OH NOW I'VE GONE AND SPLIT MY TROUSERS' (Next chapter), but it's gonna take alot of motivation. <strong>

**It will get better... I suppose. **

**... C:**

**Review. None of that pansy stuff, either. You tell me what YOU wanna see in this fic, not what Piper-The-Pornstar wants to see. You, just you review.**

**Gimmeeeehhh ze reviews. FOR ZE BOOBIES, ze are still niiice, yes?**


	5. Sex Isn't Dating, Raquel

**Disclaimer: Shake It Up is solely owned by the magical puff-puff cloud that lives in the apartment next to me. He has lots of money, but no friends. Maybe a cousin or two, but nothing else. Just him and Shake It Up. **

* * *

><p>It's been two days now.<p>

The first time I manage to get my legs to work is when I have to get up for school. I sluggishly pull on my usual attire, and head into the bathroom. I manage getting my eyes working and look up at the mirror. I look like a bag of smashed assholes. My mother will be back from her trip in two days, and then I can finally explain why

I shower, brush my teeth, floss (Twice, I can't risk getting deep plaque) brush out the tangled mess of my hair, and dreadfully head off to school. And when I get there, I deserve what I get. All the paper balls hauled t the back of my neck, the popular girls eyeing me with manipulation. "Aye guys, Miss Holier Than Thou is back." Although I don't recognize the voice, I recognize the saying, but I simply keep my tired eyes down to my shoes and continue to make my way to Principle Walloch's office.

As I step into the dark blue office, she pushes away her paperwork and her amber-gold eyes take a look at me. "Raquel, what's wrong?"

Everything. The girl I internally melt at hates me. I barfed on her. "I don't-" I clear my throat, my voice dry and drained from energy. Probably because I cried for two days straight. "I probably can't go through with the rest of the tutoring."

She twist her face in confusion. "Why? If CeCe's giving you a hard time I'll gladly give her a lengthy essay and two weeks of detention, although it wouldn't seem much different from the rest of her days here."

I quickly object. "No, no-, it's just... I can't."

She sees as to why I don't explain my reasons and doesn't asks any questions. "Well, I guess I can notify CeCe's mother about the change... Are you okay?" She slides a comforting hand over mine and it takes everything in me not to breakdown in front of her. I nod and bite the inside of my cheek. Before she can talk again, I'm rushing out of her office and down the hallway to first period. It's probably the only place I won't have to face CeCe.

XxX

I've decided to spend the rest of my time in the school library. It's not like I'll get terrorized in here.

"Hey, Raquel, you alright?" At the feel of my hand on my shoulder, I snap up and glance at the brunette, freckled face girl. Dina Garcia. I nod and turn back to my book, before I hear the strong accent again. "Look, if your tryin' to get me away by ignoring me, it's not workin'."

Why is Dina talking to me? As much as I can recall, she's friends with CeCe. "I know what happened at the mall the other day, Quinton told me. And I talked to CeCe, and she's not the happiest camper right now." Oh God, CeCe was right. I didn't think that it'd get around that quickly, she's probably seething with anger right now. It only makes my chest tighten and my fingers clamp tighter on my book. I shake my head whisper,"I'm sorry."

She slides her hand on my shoulder and gives me forgiving eyes. "Raquel, don't be sorry. CeCe is a pain the ass; she only bites your ass because she's sees you as a tiny, hopeless bug that she can step on. You gotta stand up to her, girl!" Dina gets shushed by several people around her, only for those people to be flipped off by a freckled finger. I shake my head again, and quietly talk. "I'm not... like that. And besides, CeCe has no desire to see my face, let alone hear about me after my... accident at the mall. She said that," I swallow the boulder forming in my throat,"That she hated me. She hated me and wanted me to stay away from her." Dina seems to sense my discomfort, and shakes her head.

"You gotta understand somethin' about CeCe; She's a bitch. Bitches yell and scream and fight and after a goodnight's rest, they let the whole thing go the next day."

I gaze thoughtfully at Dina, and again, wonder why she's now speaking to me. I feel like she was put to this; like someone pitied me and begged Dina to agree. But now, here she sits, with a warm smile, nothing fake to it.

"But I- I threw up on her- In front of the football team's four varsity players." Dina chuckles and looks around, before leaning in and whispering,"Well, word is that Santiago and Brett are total butt-buddies. Quinton and Remy are pretty close too, so they shouldn't care about CeCe that much." Dina chuckles, her small laughter echoing throughout the quiet library. "But really, Raquel, if you wanna get inside CeCe, mentally I mean," she winks at me, the blush fusing up my ears and down my neck,"Ya can't let her flip your ass around like a piece of paper in the wind! Be the wind, Raquel!"

Dina receives several more hushes before muttering,"Well, screw ya all too. I'll see you 'round, alright?" She stands up and gives me that warm, comforting smile again, and turns to leave. I almost let her go, before I squeak,"Wait, D-Dina!" She turns around, and raises her eyebrows. "Yeah?"

"Why... Why are-" I look down at the text in the book, then back at her. "Why are you talking to me?" She shrugs.

"Just 'cause I hang out with sexist idiots and slutty, popular bitches, doesn't mean I don't have a heart. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got these really nice condoms that most boys in school would need, and mating season is bright and early this month."

With that, I watch her strut out with her shiny, blue and pink shoes gleaming in the light and glaring on my glasses.

* * *

><p><em>When somebody loved me, everything was beautiful. Every hour we spent together lives within my heart.<em>

I stutter out a breath and shut the TV off. Everything thing around me wants to resurrect all the melancholy and gloom that I had fought throughout the last two days to yank back into my stomach and dissolve. But even with the TV off, I still hear the echo of a twisted lyric in my ears. The pang of each piano key dropping down on my heart strings. The bad things starting to bubble back up. _And when she was sad, I was there to dry her tears._

I remember. The tears that had flowed down her cheeks, her cocoa-colored irises drained and worn. And I was the one she came to.

And as I sit on my couch in an empty house, I feel a little snap. Somewhere in my brain, deep in the depths of where love should lay, something very delicate and small snap. And all the insults, the mindless pranks were released in in a little growl. I launch my fist towards the lamp beside me. That was a big mistake.

"So, you were learning how to dance... And you were spinning, and you hit the lamp?"

I nod even though I know he can't see me. "Um... Yeah."

"And now it's purple and puffy?"

"Yes."

"And now the lamp is broken?"

I clear my throat and mumble into the phone,"Yes."

He lets out a sigh. "Raquel, please, be careful while me and your mother are away. She should be back in a few days so make sure your brother doesn't destroy the house. As for your hand, put it on some ice and try to refrain from using it."

"Okay, dad. I'll see you later."

"Alright. Love you baby."

"Love you too." I let my left hand awkwardly set the home phone back on it's hook, and I stare back at my right hand. My anger had gotten the best of me, and now I have a plum-looking hand and a shattered lamp on the ground. It makes me even more vexed that my hand didn't even do any damage to the lamp, all it did was shove the lamp on the ground. And for the second time that day, I feel something inside of me break. Except this one isn't violent and provoked, this one is very light.

Oh look, I'm crying.

XxX

For the first time ever, I feel happy instead of fearful to see the reckless red that I mourn the internal loss of. But it's because of the nasty, puffy red scratch below her eye that make my eyes remain trained on until I bump into her. My books go falling out of my arms, and usually she'd snicker and strut away, but I see her bend over and pick up my history book. But she shoves it back into my arms and I see the glower on her face, the warning look in her eyes; She's so beautiful.

"Watch where you're fucking going, Blue."

My mouth is agape as I stare ahead, hearing CeCe's heels click against the vinyl tiles of the school ground. I can see the watchful eyes that follow her as she rounds the corner, and then she's out of my sight.

"Tinka got somethin' on CeCe." I gasp and slam against the lockers at the voice in my ear. Breath spreads germs. I don't want germs.

Oh, Dina.

She blinks at me. "Um... Alrighty. Walk and talk with me Blue." I nod and quickly catch up with her fast pace. "Well, the word on the street is that Tinka got some dirt on CeCe, and it's pretty big." Dina lowers her voice as we enter my empty first period. "So yesterday, Tinka allegedly saw CeCe making out with Santiago Lopez at Crusty's, but Santiago is already datin' Nina Puckerman. CeCe tried to jump Tinka out of telling anyone but, as you saw, Tinka got the upper hand of that game. And now the rumor has spread like herpes on a summer night, and CeCe is in the dumps."

"But I thought Santiago Lopez and Brett Pierce were... Dating?"

Dina gives a loud chuckle. "Sex isn't dating, Raquel."

All this vulgar talk makes me really uncomfortable. "Well, I betcha' eighty-seven percent that CeCe's comin' to _your_ house after school. All her little "friends" have suddenly disappeared since that shitty rumor got out. She probably won't stay at home either since her mom's always out, and she's so goddamn needy."

My house? "M-my house? But sh-she said tha-"

Dina rolls her eyes and interrupts,"How many times do I have to tell you, she did _not_ mean what she said! CeCe is probably the most simple-minded person you'll ever meet, she probably forgot about the whole thing by now. And quit breathin' so hard, I don't want your aspiration all over my Monster Beats."

The thought alone of CeCe already scares (And pleasures) me, but she's so broken and dark right now, one thing could set her off in a moment. Students begin to pile in, and that's Dina's cue to give one last remark,"I'd be careful if I were you, CeCe can bite real hard." She gives me a big smile before straightening her bright headphones that are always around neck, and exiting the room and leaving me alone.

Leaving me alone dying.

* * *

><p>I've dusted the table, disinfected the bar, fluffed the sofas, swept out the family room, restocked the flowers on the coffee table, dimmed the lights, and taken a bath to seem if it would get the smell of nervous sweat and a horny teenager off my skin. It didn't. Mainly because my body only consists of those two things.<p>

No, no negative thoughts. Just sit on the sofa and wait for CeCe.

What if she comes and yells at me again? Why won't my stupid fucking glasses stop fogging up? Why are my underwear so tight? I knew I should've bought the size five; I'm practically the size of Lebron freaking James right now. Oh God, why isn't that pillow sitting at a one-hundred-eighty degree angle like I set it? That could damage CeCe's spine alignment and then she'll hate me again and then I'll go die again-

The moment my mind stops is when I see quite possibly the most beautiful thing ever. The scratch below her eye is covered in a purple band-aid, and she's in her pajamas, despite it only being seven PM. Her locks of red seems to have fallen into natural curliness, her lips are pinks and pouty, and her eyes; They don't even hold the bright, evil glimmer anymore.

She says nothing as she shuts the fire escape and crosses over to sit where I am, naturally as far away from me as possible. I remain seated on the sofa with my hands linked to together.

I want to laugh at myself as I sit here, acting like I'm strapped to bombs around a sleeping lion. And I mentally count fourteen minutes before she speaks.

"What's wrong with you?... Why do you look like that?" I shake my head and quickly respond,"It's nothing."

I count five more minutes. "Do you like me?"

I want to have your children. "Of course I do; Why wouldn't why?"

She takes the pillow from behind her and lets her gaze trace over the patterns of it. "Because everyone else in the world seems to despise me."

My eyes widen at her sharp language and dear Lord she's getting closer to me. "Santiago touched me first. I told him to fuck off but he still wouldn't, so I just gave up and kissed him. Then motherfucking _Tinka Hessenheffer_ showed up, and she just had to tell everyone in school that I'm a slut." I wonder how Tinka has the audacity to call CeCe that when I know that she and Ty are more than friendly when they go up to Ty's room, yet Ty and CeCe apparently go out. I should refrain from telling CeCe anything else that would ruin her day even more, though.

"I wish I was like you sometimes." ... Did she just say that? "You don't have to deal with all this drama and shit. You can wake up, go to school, come home to your family, eat dinner, then go to bed. Not wake up, go to school, sit in detention, make out with a random guy, fall asleep in geometry and English because you can't understand a thing in the textbooks, go home, stay up 'till, like, three, and then fall asleep texting one of your friends. You're really the most simple person I've ever met."

I really hope this is happening because so help me, if this is a dream, I will jump off a fucking cliff.

Oh, she's crying now. Although, they're not angry like they usually appear; they're silent and soft and shaded. "Like, I wish I didn't have so much of the world wanting to be involved with me, ya know?" I do know, only she'd explained it in her own, creative way. She sniffles and shakes her head. "One day, I just wish that I can actually be happy. My life just... sucks."

My throat is so dry. I swallow and murmur,"CeCe, you're a really brave girl, you know? So many people wish they were in your position, but they can't, so that's why they can only be in your presence to admire who you are." Why do these things fall out of my mouth with such grace yet I'm internally combusting at how close we are?

I want to reach out and stroke away the stray tears that continue to run down her flushed cheeks, but I fear that she'll run away, and hate me again, so I stay in my position at the other end of the sofa while she continues to stare out the window.

What is she doing? Oh dear, why is she getting closer?

Oh my God. She's leaning on me. Not beside me, but on me. She's barely touching the side of my arm, but still, she's touching me.

I knew I should of hid that extra pair of underwear in the spice cabinet. These ones are definitely unwearable now.

Oh no. My lungs. "I'm just tired of being nice to people who don't give two shits about me," is the sentence she trembles out with ease, and it's taking all of my might to uphold my breathing correctly and not go limp on her lap. She sighs contently and for a few more inches, leans deeper into me. There's that tingle in my throat. I know I'm forgetting something right now... Oh, breathing.

I can feel every inch by inch as CeCe gradually presses deeper into my burning, flushed arm. My lungs are beginning to serve no purpose to my body, due to the lightheaded feeling that supposed to only surround my head, not my whole entire freaking body.

Dammit, the teenage sweat is back. It's back and I'm so hot and my throat is closing and my legs are perishing and my glasses are fogging, WHY do they do that with no reason whatsoever?

She sniffles once more before standing up. "I'm gonna head home now." My legs somehow manage to work and I walk her to my front door, and then she nods at me as I swing it open. "So, thanks for... Everything. Like, really, thank you, Rocky." Why is she getting closer again? I can't take anymore, please, no more.

Oh no, she's gonna hug me. And then CeCe's arms come around mine as she gives me a petty hug. And she's such a warm girl, and the scent of the soft vanilla breezes pass me, one that dazes me everytime we cross paths in the hallway. And I can feel her fingertips pressed on my shoulder blade, and I melt deeper and deeper into her light grasp.

And then she quickly pushes herself away from my conflagrating body, with a look of repulsion, disgust, and horror neatly painted on her face. I guess she realized she was hugging _me_.

"Uh, bye."

And then she runs out of my house.

...

...

Oh my God. CeCe called me Rocky again. Oh my God. CeCe Jones leaned on me. Oh my God. And she hugged me. She hugged me. She hugged _me_.

Oh hai ground I missed you.

* * *

><p><strong>Y'all saw that, right? I know y'all saw that. CeCe, they saaaw yooou C:l<strong>

**CeCe's not mad anymore like Dina suspected = Win. Rocky hugged CeCe = Win. CeCe gets into the biggest conflict ever with Rocky in the next chapter = Win/Loss. Wloss. **

**Darn, you weren't supposed to know that ;D**

**Mainly that I'm sorry, I'll pay the rent next time, I did not cheat on you with that super hot blonde down the street, and that child sure isn't mine. ****And also, review. ****  
><strong>

**C: Review. ****(If y'all ever see any mistakes, please PM me, Betas don't like me.)**


	6. Blanket Of Security

**Disclaimer: Dis claimer ryte hurr dont own nutin but a house fulla gurls.**

**Just kidding lol forever alone. Oh, I don't Shake It Up, either.**

* * *

><p>I kind of lost count of what day it is. What year it is. Probably who I am, even. I might possibly be going mad, because last night, the unreal happened. I, Raquel Blue was hugged by Cecelia Jones. I was. Me.<p>

I had to check that I hadn't really walked off a cliff and was dead the whole time because I just can't believe that she hugged me.

I almost broke my glasses when my face hit the ground.

"Ah, my favorite student and my most..._unique_ student. Cecelia, grades are closing for this semester soon, and if you don't pull up at leaat four out those seven grades, you are undoubtedly going to fail this quarter."

We sit in Principle Walloch's leather-clad office, and I can feel the shock that radiates of off CeCe. She gives a bitter laughs and eyes the beautiful woman behind the desk. "Are you trolling me, Jennifer?"

Principle Walloch laughs and gives a smug look to the firey redhead. "On the contrary, I am not trolling you, Cecelia-"

I see the dent that CeCe's claw of a nail slices into the leather texture and she growls,"_CeCe_." Principle Walloch only raises her eyebrows in challenge as CeCe grunts and collapses back into the chair with a pout. The brunette's face softens as she smiles at me, and oh, there go my underwear. "As for you, Raquel, despite what you told me yesterday, I don't want to give up on CeCe just yet. I know and you know she's capable of so many extraordinary things, but she has yet to get past that ego of hers."

The redhead scoffs. "I'm right here!"

"Anyway, I can't let you walk out on CeCe. I see where you and her are, on terms of sociality." CeCe snorts and chuckles,"Yeah, I'm hot and she's not." The principle narrows her eyes at CeCe and continues,"And I don't want that to be the barrier between you two."

She stands up and stares at CeCe with a look of pity. "Cecelia, for as long as I can remember, you have been the light of the school. You've been able to do what you want, whenever you please, of course, with detention in tow. But that has to change right now, or I promise you, you won't be seeing any of these_ friends_ next year. You can't let popularity mess with your head, or it'll all come crashing down and drag you with it. All the attention, the boyfriends, the parties, where will it take you? How is that going to help the next day?"

CeCe keeps her eyes trained low, anywhere that isn't Principle Walloch's face while I twiddle with my fingers, uncomfortable in the dense conversation. "Now, I expect a full essay on my desk tomorrow on what you want your future to be and how you expect to get there, and I expect Raquel to tell me actually showed up to your tutoring, too."

I feel CeCe's eyes burn into the side of my face. I can't bare to meet those dark, warning orbs of brown with my weak gaze. And she grabs her golden purse and says nothing and walk out the office.

Principle Walloch sighs and settles back into her seat. "Good luck, Raquel."

I nod, and mutter,"Thank you," before grabbing my binder and awkwardly shuffle out the room and into the crowded hallway. As an instinct, my eyes immediately catch blaring red-hair of CeCe, as she talking with a large group of boys an girls. Two girls keep asking CeCe questions, and I see CeCe nod and smile; It's a fake smile.

I see the tight-lipped one she gives two the brunette girl as she nods again, and the group begin to drag CeCe away. And for a moment, I swear I see a glint of regret in her eye.

XxX

"CeCe's pissed. That talk the principle gave her musta' been serious, huh?" I nod as Dina and I make our way to my front door. I sigh,"She said that CeCe might as well just give up on her amazing life if she doesn't bring her grades up."

"Well, CeCe really isn't the brightest girl in school. That's you."

I blush and push my glasses atop my nose. Most people mock me for my smarts, never once have I gotten a compliment for them. "Uh, thanks."

"Wait, you live here?" Dina eyes my home as we enter it. "CeCe must live right above you then?..."

"Yeah. She lives right up there." She just said that, why'd I say it again? God, I'm such a derp!

Dina perches herself on the arm of my sofa and stares at the fire escape. "Dante Dragovich is throwin' a party tonight. While this is a great opportunity for me to go sell my new and improved condoms, since Jenny Wakersni is expecting in a few months, I'm stayin' with Deuce to study and recount this week's sellings. But I know that CeCe is most likely gonna show up to that party after she's done with you."

And before I know it, CeCe is popping through the window. "I'm here, Rocky. Let's get this over with..." Her sentence dies as the sees the freckled-face brunette sitting in my living room. "_Dina_? Why are you here? With _her_?"

"I'm havin' a conversation, CeCe." Oh no, no, don't argue, my hands get clammy.

"But- When did you start talking to her? Like... _Why_?"

"She's my friend, CeCe. Maybe if ya started actually talkin' to her like she's a human instead of a puppy then you'd actually get to know her better. And... who's... Rocky?" My hair might as well be on fire because the rest of my body is blushing so hard as Dina turns to me and begins to grin. "Ohhh, alright. I'll see you two later. Bye CeCe, bye_ Rocky_." I can hear Dina's laughter as she shuts the door, and now all I can feel is CeCe's eyes on me.

"God, why does everyone want to shit on my day? Nevermind, let's just do this essay-thing so I can get it over with."

"Okay, uh-"

_"Hissss." _Oh no, Tiffany. CeCe scoffs,"Oh_ hells nah_, take your cat back to it's cage. I don't wan't it anywhere near me." Oh dear, Tiffany.

"Tiffany, go back to my room, I'll only be a here while." Tiffany turns on her paw, neatly whips her tail straight onto CeCe's arm, and saunters back into the hallway. "Er, let's get started."

As usual, CeCe has no motivation whatsoever. But I can't really do anything about it, due to the fact that she looks so beautiful and I can't really breathe or make my heart work properly when I'm around her. I clear my throat and push up my glasses. "So, let's do the essay first, then we'll start studying."

"Whatever," she drawls out. She pulls out a pink pencil and a piece of paper from her tote bag and eyes the paper. She prints her name and the date in the right hand corner-

"Could you, like, leave? I hate when people are watching me."

"Um, okay. Yeah. I'll go in the... kitchen." I find it very hard to believe that CeCe doesn't like when people watch her, because the fact that everyone watches her at school and basks in her her presence still firmly stands. I sit at the dinner table but continue my silent watch through the bar.

Every now and then, I'd see her quickly glance at me, and then she'd rapidly erase something and scribble it back down.

She's so stunning. I would give my everything to simply be in the presence of her and not faint, maybe even make her smile at me. I would die to have her love me; I'd dig my grave, engrave on the tombstone and everything, just to have her love me. And if we were together; I'd most likely start failing school, not only because she blinds my abilities to process as a normal human being, but because she likes skipping class. I've heard Ty tell many stories about him and CeCe heading to the beach, and the rest is unknown. How would I handle being alone with her? How could I resisting saying 'No' to her? And the opportunity to feel her baby-skin, to madly press against her while it's most unexpected? I can't. I couldn't. I never will.

"Rocky!" Go, run, go, she's calling me! I sprint out the kitchen and compose myself as I near her. "Yes?"

"Is this... Is this spelled right?" She points to a word on her paper. "Pedobear?" I mouth.

Wait, why is that even relevant to her future? And what's a... Pedo-bear? "Actually, your 'b' is backwards." She sighs,"Thanks." I nod and scatter back to the kitchen table.

Over a course of minutes, I see that she bites her bottom lip when she's often stumped. It's really fascinating, actually. And as I watch her more, for the first time, I see her; Not the snob, not the swearing-sailor, but her. The gentle, pacific redhead.

"Done!"

I walk over to as she shoves the paper into my hand. "I can't wait to go Dante's par-tay! Are you going?" She asks, pointing to me. And naturally, I stutter.

"I- Uh, I- It's a school night, so-"

"What am I saying, of course _you_ didn't get invited, paha!" Heh, that didn't hurt at all.

I think CeCe sees my temporary sadness, because the next thing that comes out of her mouth is unexpected and very unusual. "I mean, Ty has an Xbox, right? Maybe I'll come and play some Black Ops with you. Maybe, I don't know."

Where'd my voice go? "I gotta go and get fabulous, so later." My jaw is most likely to dislocate if I keep my mouth open any longer, but I can't help it. Is CeCe Jones actually giving away her precious time to dedicate some to me?

But then again, words are just words, they don't have to mean anything.

* * *

><p>It's exactly 11:52 PM, and I'm nearly asleep. Tiffany is curled up against my arm, and I'm about to close my eyes, when I hear the softest knock at my door.<p>

Aw shit, I can't get up. I shouldn't have read _Fifty Shades Of Grey _all day, it's so friggin' overwhelmingly sexual. My feet slide across the floor and shit, I'm too tired to even think right now. As soon as I get to the the door, I wonder who the_ fuck_ is knocking at my door at this time of night, on a school night. Like, dude, are you having your first time and you don't have any condoms? Or did you get you balls stuck in a blender or something?

... Wow, that was... different.

I crack the door open and dear Lord, it's CeCe. I'm awake now.

"Heya, Rocky. Rocky-road, Rockafella, Rockin-In-Bed, I'm, uh... I wanna- I wanna come in you."

What? WHAT?

I gulp,"Pardon me?"

"I mean, I wanna come in you're house. You're so silly, thinking I wanna sex you down like Chris Brown." It's apparent that CeCe is very, very drunk, as her usual brown orbs have become doe-eyed and her hair is everywhere and there's various stains and bloshes on her outfit. As CeCe takes one step towards me, I see her body do a short tremor and then I'm catching her in my arms. The smell of a strong alcohol floods my nose, and CeCe is stammering disjointed words. Throughout CeCe's mumbles, I hear her say,"Can I take a bath?"

While I would strongly recommend this, I don't want CeCe to accidently drown herself and I'm arrested because I'm the only one around. Although, I could check on her once or twice...

No. That's wrong. That's an invasion of her privacy.

But then I'd get a chance to see her... bare.

No, that's so wrong. I'm so gross and pervy and stalkery and I shouldn't even be thinking of seeing CeCe like that.

Fuck, I'm blushing so hard. CeCe's body is just so warm. As we make it to my room, as I've been practically dragging her, I settle CeCe at the foot of my bed. Tiffany has scampered away somewhere, most likely due to CeCe's presence, but I enjoy the silence. She's so calm at the moment, and it makes me wonder more why she's come to my house and not gone home. "Rocky?"

"Yes, CeCe?"

I swear I hear her giggle when she says,"I'm gonna barf."

"Oh dear, um, come to the bathroom." As much as I love CeCe, the bacteria in vomit is uncountable and I just can't handle the fact of it being on my bed... Okay I probably would handle the fact very well just because it's CeCe but still, no germs.

I grab her by the wrist and speed-walk her to my bathroom, where I lift the toilet seat up and let her kneel over the bowl. I don't even realize I'm holding my breath until I can feel my lungs tightening and I shakily exhale. "Are you feeling okay?" She's kneeling over the toilet with her red hair flooding down her face, which I should put up, but she slowly brings her head back up. She looks at me with the most innocent gaze, and shakes her head.

"No, I'm not. I need... I need a bath, I feel like I went swimming in scum. And you what _scum_ is made of? Cu-"

"How about we get you cleaned up and th-then we c-can go to sleep, I guess." My stutters begin as my dirty thoughts reappear. CeCe's outfit already looks very uncomfortable, all tight, dark jeans and a shirt that hugs her body in all the right places; but she smells strongly of a combination of vodka, sweat, and perfume, and I can't let her stay like this, filthy and sticky. "You can go take a shower first, and I'll get you some extra clothes." She nods and I exit the room, looking for the pajamas that she had cut up days ago, during her first sleepover with me. That night has yet to be forgotten.

It's not really a task for me to find CeCe's shorts since they're right on top of my dresser, and then I get out a tank top that undoubtedly is too big for her, but hey, that only means a better view for me. Zing.

CeCe successfully bathes without drowning, although I do panic a few times when I mistake her singing for yelping. And now she's stepping out my bathroom in a towel, still very doe-eyed and giggly- Fuck. She's only in a towel.

Holy parallel angles, she's_ only_ in a towel. I'm dead, I'm so dead, I'm not breathing. If her drunken state lets her hand slip from holding the towel around her seething, damp body, she will be exposed and I will die. My bronchi should be shriveled up by now and I should a dead, rotting corpse. My hand flies over her glasses and I hold the clothes out in her direction. "Here's, your c-clothes." I don't even realize she's reaching for the clothes until I feel her fingers graze mine and I feel my knees tremor and my nerves short out, and she whispers,"Thanks."

I love you.

It takes a while for her get the clothes on correctly, having come out the bathroom with something backward or on the wrong body part several times. CeCe stumbles towards my bed and collapses on top the covers, and because I don't wanna disturb her, I awkwardly lay on top them top too. They lamp is turned off, and I lay with my hands on my stomach, and my body a respective distance away from CeCe.

Why do I hear sniffling? It isn't that cold and lonely in my room... Wait, it's CeCe. Is she... crying?

I turn my head and notice the soft jerks of her body with each sob. "Are you okay?" I see the shift of her head from side to side, and continues her sniffling. She croaks,"I- I want to be different."

I lean up on my elbow, and I'm tempted to reach out and rinse my fingers through her hair that's cascading on my pillow. I whisper back,"How so?"

"What Miss Walloch said; I didn't really care about it. And when I went to Dante's party, everything started... hitting me." My heart begins a slow pang at CeCe's words as I listen on."I was making out with so many boys, some I barely even knew or just didn't know at all, and I was dancing and these guys kept giving me this weird-flavored beer, and this everything just kept repeating itself. Then I made out with that guy from chemistry, Bob, I don't know. He had taken me up to one of the empty rooms, and we were just kissing and taking clothes off, but then I told him to stop." She's stopped sniffling by now, but I can still hear the melancholy slice through her voice. Her body flips to where she's on her back I can see the little glimmers dried up tears have made on her skin.

"Everything just hit me in the face when I realized what I was doing, and I felt so... disturbed. Like, half of the guys I made out with have girlfriends, and- and I didn't care. I felt dirty... and I just wanted to cry until I could cry anymore. I know I'm so popular, and I'm the queen of the school, and people think I'm a goddess, but after I think about all that, I realize, I'm so..." She pauses and I only just hear her rasp,"Lonely."

I don't know it's possible, but through the moonlight, I can see the shattered insides of her. She's so isolated from anybody to love, and it destroys me knowing that if I tried doing something about it, it wouldn't be right. My eyes go back to staring into darkness, and I'm just pondering at what to do next. My question is answered as I feel her pressing closer to me. And for the first time in my life, I don't have to the urge to hide in a corner and weep, or hyperventilate, or even faint.

I'm momentarily depressed because I know that this is partially the alcohol's affect, but I mind that CeCe is nudging closer into my side, and all sad thoughts are easily forgotten.

As soon as she's close enough, I round a hesitant arm over shoulder. Her body is so frigid yet burning when my arm reaches it, and I'm surprised at my intimate gesture, but I only know of the best when it comes to CeCe. We're pressed close together, and I feel a bit better knowing that she can feel a bit better too. When she's shifting, I think it's to get closer, and in way, she does, and in another, she murders me.

The strong, familiar smell of Everclear surrounds my nose, and then I feel soft lips of CeCe Jones' on mines.

... Oh... My... God...

My first instinct is to scream, but I hold that down, as I realize CeCe Jones is kissing me.

CeCe Jones. Is kissing me? CeCe Jones is kissing me. Raquel Blue. CeCe is kissing Rocky. Has reality decided that this sentence should be genuine? Never has one day went by where I haven't day-dreamed hours and hours on about this, picking flowers off the ground and plucking petals, murmuring,'_She loves me, she loves me not_', doodling awkwardly shaped hearts around the portmanteau of our name; but now my dream, now it's happening.

The many tales I've heard from school are now useless to me; CeCe kisses like a soft, delicate angel, not the opposite, wild side I've always seemed to hear of. I'm like a rock against her cotton-candy movements, still trying to relieve the shock that's paralyzed me from head to toe. Despite this being my first time ever, my first kiss ever, I push all my heart into it. And then I'm doing it right; I'm kissing her, with my lips glissading every inch of hers, trying to capture every moment I can before my body begins it's mental breakdown.

But when I feel her hand slide onto my neck, something in me cringes. It brings me to pull back and gaze into misty, dilated eyes. I sit up and watch her slowly register my absence, her tongue flicking out to wet her lips. "Where'd... you go?" You're beautiful and I want to marry you, but I just can't.

I can't do this to CeCe. Not when she won't remember anything the next morning, and she's obviously so drunken now that if I hadn't stopped I'd probably be naked right now. As much as I was loving this, my body was telling me this was so right in every way, but my mind was telling me it was wrong, and I was too far. Thank goodness CeCe won't remember a thing tomorrow morning, thanks to Everclear liquor, or I might as well commit suicide now.

"CeCe, I- You need sleep." She smiles at me and reaches up to let her fingers droop through my hair. She mumbles,"But I was having fun. And I was feeling better. You make me feel better." I open my mouth to respond, but as usual, nothing comes out, so instead I slip under the covers with my back turned to her and my respective distance welcomed back. Moments later, I hear little snores, and I take it she's asleep.

That was so amazing, but it felt wrong. Like, I was using her, I was taking advantage of her. I rather stay in the shadows and watch her hips sway in the hallways any day than kiss her while she's drunk. But something is telling me this is wrong her part too; that she used me for her own personal use, like a brand-new toy. And then all the crooked, messed-up pieces fall into place; I was used.

I should be mad, I should be offended, I should be kicking her out of my bed and telling her to get out my house, but I'm not, and I won't. Someday, I'll kiss her without the consent of alcohol and it'll be the best kiss ever.

I can only hope that this won't happen again, and that I won't become a blanket of security, when I want to become the love of her life.

And when I wake up the next morning, she's still right next to me, and I feel a little bit better, yet even worse.

* * *

><p><strong>This is the start of something very, very, very bad. Who's to blame in the situation? Tell me in a review, because I DON'T REALLY KNOW.<strong>

**(For those of you who are wondering, a _portmanteau_ is the merging of two names, into one name. I.E., Spashley, Brittana, Faberry, Cori, ReCe, ReCe, ReCe and also Zendella HA YOU THOUGHT I WAS GONNA SAY RECE AGAIN WELL I was but I stopped and quit yelling at yourself) ****I love writing Dina :D She's just so exciting to do, I don't know why. Maybe because I've never been exposed to people with different accents and fancy jackets that carry headphones and Twinkies around in them.**

**I should sleep. Yeah, I'm gonna do that.**

**Please review because my fingers are dead. And you reviews are like... Medicine. Symbalta. **

**Just... Please. Review.**

**(PM if you see any mistakes, betas hate my guts :D)**


	7. Yellow

**Disclaimer: I don't own Shake It Up. I own some beach houses in Guam, though. Let's invite Bella, Zendaya, and everyone reading this story and see where the night goes from there.**

* * *

><p>I've been laying in bed for ten minutes now, trying to inch myself out of it as CeCe breathes gently on my neck. Her leg is crossed over my stiff, straight one while her arm in draped across my torso.<p>

The things this girl does to me...

Despite my tremendous effort, I'm still in the same position that I was before; right against CeCe, her body mended against mine.

I know as soon as she wakes up, she'll either do one of two things: One, wake up with a massive headache and stay in my bed all day, or two, wake up with a massive headache, figure out that she's been holding me in her sleep, throw up, and go home.

Those both sound very likely to me.

"_Ugh_..."

The angel has arisen.

XxX

"Hey Rocky, could you hand me the tape?"

I pass her the Scotch tape and continue to stare down at my own, finished project. Tiffany has curled up on my side and it tentatively watching CeCe, and it's nearing one in the morning. CeCe, didn't remember anything from the night before. Not that I do want her remember. I kinda wish she remember she kissed me.

Not a single thought of the night before had crossed through her mind. Although, she remembered arriving to the party, and after her first drink,'Everything is just hazy.' A snap in front of my face makes me turn my neck towards her. "Rocky, scissors: give them to me." I sullenly hand her the scissors and let a silent sigh drift through my nose.

I am head over heels for CeCe, and it hurts so bad.

She's popular, and I'm a loser. A stuttering, fumbling, dopey-eyed loser. I'm a loser, and she's a graceful, fiery, beautiful being.

For just one day, I wish I could hold her in my arms, and tell her that I actually admire her, and I love her. Not for her clothes, or for her stupid blonde, butt headed boyfriend on the football team, but her. That's all I really want; her. If anything, if she could say that she doesn't hate me, that would make my heart giggle and flop. I only have one person in the world: myself. Anything else around me is just meant to malign me or revile at me, and I solely think CeCe is the center of it all. But why do I like her so much then? I don't understand myself, but if I could only tear myself away from the haze that's she put on me, maybe I could finally see why; I love her. I love her so much.

A drunken, forgotten affair; that's all I was for her.

But I can't have her. I can't drag my fingers through her newly-cut bangs. Or have her jump into my arms and squeeze me tightly after a long day of school, or have her keep me up all night talking about nonsense over the phone. Or giggle and squeeze my arm when she's nervous or excited, or scribble all over my left hand with a pink, glitter Sharpie. Or let her kiss me until my knees go weak and she smiles into the kiss as her hand pulls me closer. Physical pain will never compare to the excessive, incinerating burns I feel notch through my heart tissue when I see her kiss someone other than me. All I need is to be with you. If only I could open up my mouth and tell you how I feel.

"Hey CeCe," my brother walks in, in nothing but his baggy basket-ball shorts, leaning over and kissing the top of CeCe's forehead. I see her shrug away from the touch of his lips onto her skin, and she quickly glances over at me, then back to Ty. "Quit it, you dick. You know I'm with Ian now."

Ian. That fucker.

Ty shrugs, scratching the little dips between his abs. He's always been extremely lanky, and when puberty hit him, it gave him a bit of physique towards his bony body. Why CeCe, along with every girl I see, finds him so attractive and dreamy is unbeknownst to me, and I will carry that to my grave. "I didn't know. Rocky, mom called, she's gonna be gone for another two weeks." I don't mind, even then, CeCe won't be with me.

"What did you call her?" Ty steps back and raises his eyebrows at CeCe's rapid question. He hesitates,"...Rocky? That's what you call her."

"No, get your own nickname." My chest does handsprings as the words register in my mind. Her nickname... For _me_? Rocky?

Ty furrows his bushy eyebrows and frowns at her. "Whatever. Hey, Tinka's havin' a party tonight. You going with me?"

CeCe only rolls her eyes, reaching over me and replacing the scissors for glitter. Her hand almost misses my thigh, and her pinky brushes against it. She doesn't care, as usual, but my body reacts in a way that is accustomed to me; shivers, and my ears lighting up like Christmas lights. Touch me, just once more.

"Why would I go to Tinka Hessenheffer's party? Don't you remember she put a scar below my eye, and accused me of kissing Santiago? It took three weeks to get that scar to go away, and Brett Pierce is still ignoring me. Fuck Tinka, I'm not going to her party, that was a stupid question Ty."

"It was a 'Yes' or 'No' answer, not a 'Give a bitchy speech' answer." Ty trudges away, and now I'm back with CeCe, silent as she finishes another overdue project. She used to come over we'd study, or make up some work, which was actually just me doing it while she slept on the couch- But now, she'll come and get her stuff out, and never mention a word to me, and finish it. Yet yesterday, she came home, drunk and crazy, slurring words and drooling.

She is the most difficult person I've ever known.

Yet she is the most loveliest person I've ever known.

XxX

I sit at lunch by myself with my tuna sandwich and sugar cookie, a nibble only munched out of the sandwich. I can barely keep anything down at this point, as I watch the redhead of my dreams giggle and squirm against... _him_.

Ian fucking Tennison.

He's on the football team, varsity, mind you. He's got strawberry-blonde hair, 'Hazel-blue eyes', as CeCe's been describing them, a taut body, and no one, even myself, could deny that he and CeCe make a cute couple. They always sit at the popular table during lunch, whereas I sit alone, gazing across the obstreperous, crowded room, right unto my only want; CeCe. Today, she waltzed in the lunch room with him, hand in hand with him, and a bright smile plastered across her lips, similar to the one I'd gotten yesterday. She'd left my house with a quick but sweet smile to me, in which my heart jolted and sped between my ribs, and I could only give a dopey grin back.

And I'd come to school this morning, ready to learn with my hopes high from CeCe's bright grin, only for everything to be crushed by the sight of her kissing the tip of Ian's nose.

I should be happy. I am happy. A happy CeCe is a happy Rocky.

I glance at the popular table again, and then CeCe gives him a dreaded, sweet, sensual kiss, right in front of everyone on the table. I hear numerous cheers and wolf-whistles, and as CeCe pulls back from his lips, he only smiles deeply with his eyes still closed, like an angel had touched him right on the spot; it's like a carving knife etches out the word,'PAIN', into my heart, and I can feel every nick and slit.

I can't do this. I can't watch anymore of them.

The library. I'll go there. No one goes in there anyway.

I pack up my barely-touched lunch up and speed-walk out of the room, and make it to the library in top time.

I don't know what I kind of pain I'm experiencing right now, but my heart hurts. Physical and emotional, and all too painful.

"Yo Raquel- I mean, _Rocky_, how does it go? Ya' lookin' a little pale there, by the way." I can't breathe. I just want to be in CeCe's arms. I wheeze,"Hi Dina."

"It's deserted in here, what're you doin' here? How come ya' not with CeCe?" _CeCe_. My chest clenches again at the name, and I squeeze my eyelids together and shake my head.

"Woah, you're shakin' now. Rocky, what's wrong?"

But it's too late, and before I can catch another breath of air, all my concealed rage has drowned me in darkness.

* * *

><p>Where am I?<p>

It's so dark.

I should open my eyes maybe.

"You really need to stop fainting at school, you're takin' away all my free time for girls." I see a blur of red elbow him in the stomach, and- CeCe. She's here. Why?

"Ty, don't be a jackass, she's you sister for fuck's sake. Have some sympathy for at least one time," Dina barks. Ty only grimaces at Dina and his face softens as he turns to me again. "You alright?" I nod and I take note of my location: The nurse's office.

"Is she okay?"

Ian. What is_ he_ doing here?

Dina runs a hand over my forehead and gazes sympathetically at me. She eases,"Rocky, you passed out cold a few minutes ago. What happened?" Before I can open my mouth, Nurse Trixie is pushing back the teens and squinting into my face. "Raquel, do you know you've fainted nearly four times in the passed month?" I nod. "Raquel, it seems that you have a more severe case of fainting than I thought- You have to be more careful with what you do, cutie, or one day the fainting might be a little too-harsh on your body."

These constant stares make me very nervous. "I'm fine," I mutter. "Can I go back to class now?"

"I'm afraid you have to be sent home, baby-doll." I stay silent as Nurse Trixie walks away, and I'm left with CeCe, Ian, Dina, and Ty staring intently at me. "I do feel like a little afternoon break, actually," Dina snickers.

"You guys wanna skip the rest of the day, too? I have like, five pairs of extra bikinis in Ty's car." CeCe smiles in the cute, devious way she always does, but Ian takes her hand and backtracks,"Baby, I don't think you need to. You've got all these major tests, and I wouldn't want you to miss all of 'em. What about tomorrow?" CeCe only tilts her head and tightens her lips at Ian. "I'll make them up, Rocky can help me anyway. Right, Rocks?"

They all stare at me, and I look around, before quickly nodding and forcing out a strangled,"Yeah." Her amber-brown eyes watch me once more and she smiles. "Good. Let's roll." Dina and Ty race to Ty's car and CeCe is about to rocket out too (About to leave me, mind you), until Ian grabs her hand. "CeCe, you really shouldn't do this, it's not gonna look good on your report card." CeCe scoffs and jerks her hand away, snarking,"Ian, it's just one day, what's your deal? I told you, I'll make up the things I missed."

"CeCe, I'm only telling you this for you're own good; you have _terrible_ grades right now, and you shouldn't be skipping just to spend the day wasting time at the mall." CeCe glares at him, grabbing my backpack and taking my hand. Fuck, fuck, she's touching my hand. "You know, the least you could is try and act supportive of my choices, like a good boyfriend would."

Ian sighs,"CeCe, I'm not-"

"No, fuck it. It's whatever now. Comon', Rocky." She pulls me up, and she waltzes pass Ian, dragging me along in her tracks. I'm tempted to turn around and give him a sympathetic look, but then I decline. I'm too engrossed in her the way that her palm is rubbing against mine, and the way her fingernails are lightly grazing my knuckles. I know God closed his eyes when he was putting the final touches of perfection on her.

Before I know it, we're in the back of Ty's Prius and CeCe and Dina are stripping (into barely anything, mind you) in the backseat while parched in the far end of the corner, silently watching. I can see CeCe's abdomen, and the way the muscles flex underneath her soft-skin as she shimmies in the bikini bottoms.

I should just fling myself out the window now.

XxX

Before I can inch myself out the car, CeCe and Dina are shoving past me and sprinting out unto the deserted beach. It was actually very beautiful; the sun was setting and illuminating the waves with an mellow, orange-reddish hue, and the way the ocean is so serene and pacific. I'm just gonna sit down.

Ty steps out of the car, with his swim shorts and nothing else over that. "Are you gonna swim? I got a one-piece that CeCe bought and never wore in there." I shake my head and lightly laugh,"That's alright. I don't want you to be bothered with the burden of me accidentally drowning or something." He shrugs and races after CeCe and Dina, and I slowly begin my path after him.

"Rocky, come get in the water!" I shake my head at Dina's request, and sit in the sand, instead watching CeCe jump on top of Dina and Ty jumping on top of CeCe.

This is what I want; smiles and laughter and happiness. And CeCe. That's all I want.

It wasn't even ten minutes until they had gotten into the water when I heard CeCe. I looked away from the bright sunset and glanced at the redhead, who was hurriedly rushing back the shore, bouncing on her right foot. "Fuck, fuck, fuuuuuck. God, what the hell kind of ocean is this?" She bounces until she's right next to me, hissing and holding her very, very bloody foot.

"I think I got bit by a fucking_ crab_ out there." I search my pockets and luckily, there's one tissue in there, and a band-aid (In case I fall and scrape my eye, because it's me we're referring to) and I murmur to her,"Hold still." She still hissing and rocking back and forth, and then I press the tissue to the cut. "Fucking _shit_!"

"It's okay, the pressure will ease the pain and stop the bleeding." I take the issue off and slide the band-aid on the cut, and CeCe sighs in relief. "Thanks, Rocky." I nod and look back at the ocean, waiting for CeCe to scoot away from me or make a snide remark, but surprisingly, she remains next to me, watching the orange fade below the ocean.

"I should text Ian." Whether she was talking to herself or me, it still puts a pang in my heart, but I ignore it. My body has gone stale from all the pain nowadays. "But whatever, I don't even wanna think about him right now."

It's silent for only a minute when CeCe asks,"Why do you pass out so much?"

I shake my head in response; How am I supposed to her that she's the cause of my every bodily problem? "I guess there's something wrong with me," I whisper. There is something desperately wrong with me; my heart falling for a girl that I know I could never have. A beautiful, popular, straight girl. I don't even think that I'm gay. It's just CeCe I want.

"Do you think I'm a bitch?"

I turn to look at her and she's gazing at me with curious, amber eyes. "You're not a bitch. You're just very... critical of things."

"Woooah, I've never heard you curse before. Someone's a bad-ass now, huh?" She nudges me in the shoulder with a finger and I lightly smile. It's silent again, and it's a peaceful; CeCe and I, on the beach, moderately close to eachother.

"What's your favorite song?"

"Yellow, by Coldplay."

She tilts her head in that thoughtful way and sighs.

"You're different, Rocky." I'm aware of this, yes. "Good different. You're not really popular, and you don't have a lot of boyfriends, and you're get teased a lot, but the weird part is, you deal with me." I listen to her soft words as we watch Dina and Ty wrestle in the ocean. "

"When I was maybe five or six, my dad and mom got divorced, and so I thought this was all my fault. My dad had always told me, he couldn't,'Deal with me', and so I assumed I was a problem for him. So, I guess that triggered something in the back of my mind to not be people's way all the time. Be in front of them. Be the one in charge. And... You see how I am. But what I guess I'm trying to say is that I really shocked that you haven't given up on me, even though I'm a constant bitch to you." She looks over at me, and I turn back to look at her.

Deep breath.

"... Yes, sometimes you really demean me, and yes, sometimes you really have to always be one step ahead of everyone, but I don't care about that. I care about you. Not only because I know you aren't such a bad person everyone thinks you out to be, but because I know that there's a lot more things you could do if you just believed in yourself. I believe you. You have every dream in world to catch, and no one is stopping you. And take this from someone who doesn't have a lot to believe in, or doesn't have any friends."

"I'm your friend." We continue to gaze at eachother, and my heart is threatening to beat and burst right out of my chest again.

"CeCe, Rocky! Quit making out and let's get goin'! It's been like three hours!" Time passes quickly when your in love, Dina.

I stand up as CeCe grabs my left hand and yanks on it, bouncing up only to hiss and fall down again. "My foot hurts too badly. Gimme a piggy-back ride?" I smile and crouch down, her arms roping around my neck and her legs crossing around my waist. How I'm so calm and collected, I don't know right now. But whenever I feel her chest rise and fall against my back, I keep my shivers down and maintain our way to the car.

"You have really pretty hair," she murmurs into my hair.

"Thank you." A blush crosses my face; No one has ever really told me that.

"This was a nice day, huh? Got to hang out with you and just take a break from all the shit." She self-consciously scratches her finger nails against my sweater clad-arm, but I can still feel the little streaks that she makes and her nail moves up and down. It feels so nice to be so little. God, help me. "Yeah," I murmur back. I finally get to the car, and I turn and set her in, and slide in after her, waiting for Ty and Dina to hurry up.

"What's your favorite color, CeCe?" The question comes from nowhere.

"Yellow." Bright and vibrant, just like her. She yawns and lays her head on my shoulder. "I'm tired." Someday, you'll get to lay down in my arms and we can fall asleep wherever you like. But, someday. I let CeCe rest against my shoulder, and turn to look the window, at the sky.

Everything is yellow, and nothing could be better now.

* * *

><p><strong>Oh the FEELS<strong>

**Don't kill me, please.**

**Just, kill me in a review. That's fine.**


	8. Drowning in Vanilla

**Disclaimer: The Shaking Up of the It, is not mine. If I were to be a position where I was able to legally own the It of the Shaking Up, then very mild yet graphic nudity would occur.**

* * *

><p>I'm pretty sure I have pneumonia.<p>

I think it's why I faint and sweat all the time.

Or it's maybe because CeCe is sleeping across my lap.

Either way I'm pretty sure I'm gonna die.

"You guys wanna drive downtown for a little bit? Today is Friday, all the celebrities are here for that big movie premiere. Maybe I might snag me some Rihannas' over here and some Beyonces' over there. I might even get me some Kardashian tonight." Dina rolls her eyes and interjects,"Ty, it's late. CeCe is crushing Rocky to death and Rocky looks... Rocky looks high."

Is that what my anxiety looks like? Like I do drugs?

"Fine. I guess you're right, we can all chill tomorrow, anyway."

"Drop me off at my house first, I'm not spending anotha' night in your gross room."

Ty ducks his head momentarily. "My room is only a little bit messy, man..."

Dina cocks her head to my brother and makes a face of revulsion. "Ty, there were molded Twinkies stuck to your wall."

After fourteen minutes of banter, Ty's car pulls up to the large house and Dina rolls her eyes at Ty before stepping out of the Prius and lazing into her house. Ty sighs and starts the ignition, grinning. "I just might steal her from Deuce one day."

"I don't think Deuce would really mind, he's really concerned more about selling things than Dina most of the time," I muse as I look down at CeCe. She continues her slumber on my lap, her left index finger hanging from her lip in the cutest way. God, I just _want_ her. I know I repeat this everyday, but what else can I say? She's the only thing I truly want in the world.

"Well, have fun carrying CeCe to her room." What?

I step out the car and stare at the large apartment building, then at Ty who's started his way to our house. "What? Ty, no! Help me!"

"Here's her purse, the keys are in there." He tosses CeCe's twenty-ton purse at me, which slaps me in the face, mind you. I groan,"You are the worst brother ever."

He's too far away to hear me, and all I can do at this point is turn at stare at the sleeping beauty.

I sigh.

Two minutes into my stroll, this is an easier task than I presumed it to be; CeCe literally might be the weight of two feathers. I take another step and place her on the bed, her arms drooping above her head as she slumbers in her jean shorts and loose tank top, and I place her purse on the bedside table. My eyes follow her twitching arm up to her face.

Wow; I never realized how pretty she is when she sleeps. Then again, CeCe is always pretty, regardless of the setting. I softly sit on the edge of her bed, and stare at the flicking moon light shining through her window. The starting rain created dim, flashing light that fell on CeCe's skin, making her sparkle like some sort of goddess.

I've slowly and painfully come to accept through the past month now, that CeCe and I might never be. And that's okay with me. Soon enough, Principle Walloch will call off the studying duo that we've formed, and with time, CeCe will forget me. How I stumble and fumble over my words and my feet for her. How she hugged me close and then ran out. Or how the first time she came to my house and shredded my pajamas to pieces.

Or when she kissed me. Soft, the smell of alcohol surrounding my nose. Almost two weeks ago and she still doesn't remember a glint of that night. But I remember every single moment since the day she moved below me.

Ugh, stupid emotions. Always making my glasses fog up. I take them off my face and try to smear the fog away with the hem of my ruff cotton sweater, when I feel a soft hand on my left arm. "Rocky." As I hear that voice, the same sparks go creeping up my arm and into my chest. My head slowly turns until I faced with CeCe, visibly still tired yet staring puzzled at me. I glance down at my glasses and reach to put them back on, when she pushes my hand back down. "Leave them off, you look pretty."

That throws another pang at my chest, only to be replaced with flutters. CeCe gave me an actual compliment, and she's not drunk. I look away from her and lightly shake my head. "No, I don't." She gently tugs on my arm until I'm laying down, hands crossing over my stomach and my body very tense and taut around her. I guess she can feel too, because she squeezes my arm and murmurs,"Chill out, you're so tense." I silently breathe, in and out, before I can feel my body start to get looser and lazier.

"You look nice without your glasses. How come you never take them off?"

I breathe again,"Because without them I'd most likely run to a dozen of walls." I watch CeCe lean up on her elbow and gaze at me. "Can you see me?" I don't move, because she's so close and I can only barely resist my urges to kiss her. I instead look out the side of my eyes and nod. "Mhm, I can see you." She lays back down and this time scoots a bit closer to me as the rain outside begins to harden and disorient the moon light.

"You're so quiet," CeCe murmurs again. It's not the fact that I'm so quiet, but it's if I open my mouth for extended period of time, I sound like a confused, little girl. "You can talk to me, Rocky. I know I've been a real bitch to you before, but it's okay. I won't bite." Her soft words give a calm atmosphere to the room, and I wanna say something, but I don't know what. Then she fires a question that comes from out of nowhere.

"Do you ever think about kissing girls?" Blunt questions that are completely out of my category, CeCe seems to love asking them. I swallow.

"Uh..." I don't know how to respond to that. I could tell her that I think about kissing her, but that would ultimately fail. "No," I force out. It's bad enough CeCe thinks I'm a geek, I don't need her thinking I might prey on her while she's undressing. I can hear CeCe lightly chuckle, and she says,"I have. Well, I almost did. I almost kissed Riley Walloch one day, at a party at Dina's house. Principle Walloch would have lost her shit if she found out I almost kissed her daughter. She would've been the first girl ever..."

Is that implying that I was CeCe's first kiss with a girl? Me? Raquel Blue? My excitement is short-lived as I remember that CeCe doesn't even remember coming to my house that night, and the kiss doesn't even exist outside of my mind. I ignore the lump in my throat and swallow it.

There's a long silence again until CeCe breaks it.

"Rocky, look at me." I don't object to her simple request, turning my head so that I can shyly stare into her eyes. She stares back and I can almost feel her trying to search me for something, and she reaches out touches the very tip of my nose, a tickled feeling racing up my arms. "You know, Ian was talking about you the other day." Because Ian is definitely important now... "He asked why I hang with you all the time, and I told him it's just the tutoring and stuff." That makes me turn my head in the opposite direction again, drawing her index finger away from my nose and hoping that she doesn't since my ever-protruding jealousy.

"But really... the only reason I ever come to your house anymore is to see you." What?

"Yeah." I guess she hears my thoughts, because I repeat, what? "When I first moved here, my mom and dad had just got divorced, and we had to come live in this apartment because the houses were too much for my mom to afford alone. I thought everything was really shitty here, I kinda still do actually, and I just wanted to be home as a happy family again. So, my mom's a cop, she barely sees me and my brother is always with his best nerdy blonde friend, so I'm basically alone most of the time." I unconsciously turn my head back to her, so I can watch her gaze out the window.

CeCe has lay down at this point, and she stares with me out through the window, listening to the the ongoing storm. "And I hate school so fucking much. You probably know that, though. But that's when I met your brother, and then we dated for a little while. He's kind of a jerk."

"Lucky me, I'm related to him," I mutter, and she gives one short laugh.

... Is it just me, or is CeCe scooting closer to me? "And then I started doing really bad in school, with the detention, and the failing grades, but then that's where you," she pokes me in the side, her finger acting as a gun and shooting off several tingles in my abdomen,"came in... And some things got better."

"I thought you were a lame at first. Like that one day you tripped in the cafe and you spilled at your food. Or that time you fainted in gym right before everyone left. Or that time you threw up on me in front on the football team." All these horrible moments, brought back to light, why? "So, you obviously know I wasn't happy when Jennifer stuck me with you to study everyday for a month. But I got used to you."

I continue to listen to CeCe softly decipher the past few months, her hand reaching back to play with my hair. "You're really smart, and awkward... and pretty. You're different." The third times she says I'm pretty, I'm having a panic inside; It's unlike her to tell me something nice, let alone tell me something not insulting. "I feel weird talking to someone like this... but I know you won't tell anyone." God, I'm like an open book to her, I feel so exposed; I feel naked. I feel naked in front of CeCe. A hot, red tint starts creeping up my neck. "You won't tell anyone, right?"

She leans over to look at me, and I give a quick,"Mhm." A small smile starts forming on her face, and she tilts her head, studying my face. "Are you blushing?" Her coffee-colored, twinkling eyes stare down on my small, helpless form and I strangle out an excuse.

"It's hot." She and I both know it's almost twenty degrees in her room, and I just told a full on lie, but she leaves it alone.

"You can take your sweater off if you're hot, you know. We're both girls, Rocky. I won't care." God, I hate how much my heart starts hopping out of control when she says my name. And the day I take off my shirt in front of CeCe is far beyond infinity itself, so much that visualizing it is giving me chills.

"Rocky... I remember," CeCe ushers, and immediately, the chills on my body are replaced with a numbing feeling. She can't remember.

She couldn't be talking about what I think she was. "That night, like three weeks ago." She does. She does remember. I can feel sweat start to form on the back of my neck, but I try to remain calm; she could be talking about another night. Not the night where... "I was super wasted, and I showed up at your house at like, twelve in the morning."

Fuck. She remembers. "And you helped me get cleaned up, and I started crying like a dumb bitch, and then..." I feel my heart stop for a minute as CeCe pauses, and like a bomb, it's like it drops into the bottom of my chest. "I kissed you."

The words echo in my mind, and it's like all my nerves are glass, simultaneously cracking and shattering and as the sound of fear shoots them in. Oh God, I can't breathe. She remembers the kiss. She remembers our first kiss. My_ first_ kiss. She hates me, I know she hates me now. I know that she never wants to see my face again. My fingers clutch onto the sheets of her blanket and my body starts trembling violently, all while I can feel her watching me, waiting for a response. I croak,"I'm sorry, CeCe. I- I'm so, so sorry." My body stiffens even tighter as I recall that this will probably be the last time she'll talk to me, and all I'll carry in my memory for the rest of my life is the feeling of he lips on mine; once, but never again.

I sit up, and I just have to get out of here now, because I can't bear to look at her anymore. I can't deal with knowing that she hates me. "Woah, woah, Rocky, calm down, it's okay." She grabs me by both my arms and pulls me back down, pressing her palm to my shoulder as her red locks capture my blurry vision. "Rocky, breathe," she murmurs.

I turn my head up, and don't even realize I'm crying until I feel a drop stream over my ear, and I hurriedly wipe them away. "It was my fault. I shouldn't have shown up to your house like a shit-show in the middle of the night, and I shouldn't have kissed you. I just wasn't thinking, which I don't do most of the time anyways, so it's not your fault." That only makes me turn my head and try to resist sobbing even more. She doesn't get it. She'll never get it, because I can never tell her.

I love you, CeCe Jones. I love you so much; so, so much. And on the day you kissed me, you made it possible for me to have something that I'd never thought I'd ever possess; you're love, a kiss from you. And the fact that you remember, and care to bring it up makes me love you ten-million times more. Everyday, I dream of laughing with you, and hugging you, and holding you and just being with you, and everyday, I'm quietly reminded by your boyfriend that I can't have it. By your kisses, and your hugs, and your laughs with him; so I stay in the dark. I love you so much, it physically hurts me. The only thing I can keep at least, now, is that kiss. That meaningless, drunken kiss. At least I'll have that.

"It was just a dumb, little kiss, it didn't mean anything."

And at that moment, I actually endure the true feeling of death. Like I'm drowning; water is filling my lungs and I'm rapidly trying to gasp for more air, but I end up just swallowing more wholes of water. My first kiss with CeCe Jones didn't mean _anything_.

"We're still friends, Rocky. It was dumb, it... didn't mean anything." I guess I'm still shaking and crying, even harder, because she pulls me closer and now she's laying with her back to my front, and her leg has slid under mine, she's not helping any of my body get under control. "It's okay, Rocky, I promise." No, it's not okay, it's not fucking okay at all. My body is shuddering because it's cold and I'm sniffling and breathing so hard, and CeCe is pressed against me, with her arm crossed over my stomach, holding me in serenity. I'm still drowning in my own melancholy and it's more difficult to breathe as I feel CeCe getting deeper against my back.

"You're still my best friend, Rocky." She pulls me closer and the welcoming scent of vanilla greets me again.

The last thing I can remember is CeCe breathing on my neck, so softly, and I don't know if I fall asleep or blackout. Either way, I'm still in pain, I still can't breathe, I've still kissed CeCe Jones, and it didn't mean anything.

* * *

><p><strong>Well, that was quite depressing. Frankly, it was too depressing, and you guys are gonna hate me for what comes next. You're gonna hate my guts and use them as slingshots when you rip them out of my stomach. I promise though, it won't take as long (High school is a real bitch, 'ya know.) You should also leave a review so I don't mysteriously come into your house at night and threaten to eat all your fruit an vegetables.<strong>

**STAY HEALTHY MY FRIENDS**


	9. We Need To Talk

**Disclaimer: THE HIGHWAY DON'T CARE IF I OWN SHAKE IT UP, SO WHY SHOULD DISNEY? Just kidding. Disney, please, give me Shake It Up. I promise I won't soil it with underpants and billions of boobs. I also don't own Apple iPads, or the game Subway Surfers. But, BOOOOOY, if I DID?**

* * *

><p>I open my eyes and they're welcomed to a slowly brightening, blue sky outside of my window. My eyes are full of sticky, dry muck, and I feel warm air hitting my neck; breaths, CeCe's breaths. I try turning my head and then I end up rapidly blinking because of the red locks that got in my eye. I lean up, and my body quickly tells me two things by forming chills bumps.<p>

One, it's always cold in CeCe's room.

Two, I don't have a shirt on.

I hurriedly glance for my sweater, but I give up soon after I see it's nowhere in CeCe's frilly room. And as I pull the covers up to my neck, I realize that CeCe's the one who took it off. CeCe took my sweater off while I was sleeping? That sentence alone doesn't even sound real. I then catch my glasses sitting on her bedside table and I sigh as the events from last night breeze through my mind, but any thoughts are forgotten when I'm pulled back against CeCe and she mumbles,"Stay here, it's cold."

"CeCe, what happened to my," I silently exhale as her leg slides under mine, Holy Mary,"... sweater?"

"You started like, shivering in your sleep."

"Don't you think I was cold if I was shivering?"

I guess CeCe gives up on trying to reason with me because she just makes a noise of waiver and her arms slide around my stomach, and it takes me everything not to make a squeal of pleasure because her body is so warm and her arms are around my abdomen and this is almost everything I always dream of every night. And I don't know if I'm hallucinating, but I swear that CeCe doesn't have her tank top, nor her shorts on from last night and her bare skin is pressing against mine.

"Today is Saturday, right?" CeCe asks against my neck, and I shakily reply,"Yeah."

She starts pulling away and good God, she did have _no clothes on. _"I have a date with Ian today." That doesn't register in my brain for nearly two minutes because I see CeCe sauntering around her in room in nothing but her pink and white bra and panties, and her room becomes a sextillion times hotter. But as soon as the words do reach my brain, my chest fills with that familiar inclination of jealousy and I only exhale deeply. "I should go then, I don't wanna divert your attention while you're getting ready." CeCe nods, glancing at me then disappears into her closet. I think that's the only thing I hate about CeCe; or rather, what I hate she can do. She can look at me for a second and make me feel so exposed.

I sit up with the covers still pressed tightly to my tense form, and mumble,"CeCe, may I have my sweater back?"

"Yeah, it's in the bathroom."

... The bathroom? Why would she put my sweater in there?

Well, most of the time, I don't know what CeCe's motives are, so I don't question it, and instead try to think about how I'm going to get from under these covers. I hate that I'm perplexingly shy, to the point where I don't want to leave CeCe's bed in fear that she might see me and laugh. I'm tall, and lanky, and I've never been that comfortable with my image, but if the girl that I love sees me? I might just about die.

Keep it together, just go and get the sweater, and go home. I can do this. Placing my glasses steadily on my face, I start with my leg, inching off of her bed, and I then I'm on the ground, in my skinny jeans and my plain, white bra. I take another step, and I'm halfway to her bathroom now. Yes, I'm doing it. A few more steps and I'll be safe. Almost there-

"Wow, Rocky. You... You're hot." I nearly collapse on the spot. Did CeCe Jones just call me hot? Me? _Hot_? "You should take your shirt off for me more."

CeCe cheekily winks at me, walks into the bathroom and I don't think she notices the violent, confusing jerk that spreads through my body. She winked at me. I should have taken a shower; all my clothes soiled now. I take a step into the bathroom and see my sweater laying near the sink, but not without watch CeCe hum as she gathers shampoos and conditioners, almost naked. Why my sweater is in the bathroom is still a question to me. I grab it and resistingly step out of the bathroom, watching CeCe's slender body disappear. I try pulling it on and realize that my head does in fact not go in the sleeves.

CeCe renders my body useless.

By the time I've managed to get and correctly put on my sweater, after having the tag stab me in the eye, twice, CeCe emerges from her bathroom, fresh as ever in her preppy, uptown style-clothing. She's straightened her hair, but not a lot, to the point where's very wavy and natural looking. God, she is so pretty. I wish I was going on a date with her and not... Ian. I know I've told myself that CeCe and I are just not meant to be, but I my body just can't seem to accept that fact.

"I won't be gone for a long time," CeCe calls, flipping off lights throughout her house. "Ian is a super slow guy." My heart tightens in envy at the sound of that repetitive, never-ending name.

Ian Is nice boy, from what I've heard and seen. He has good grades, he is really cute, and he's dating the most popular girl in school. He's living the dream that I dream. Loving the girl I that want to openly love. I wish he would just disappear sometimes, and CeCe would come to me, so that I could hold her and love her. But, a happy CeCe is a happy Rocky. If CeCe's happy with the boy, then so be it. I'll be happy too, even though the happiness is killing me inside.

"I can come back early, if you want, and we can chill out."

CeCe shuts her apartment door behind her, and now we're outside with the sun grazing her face and highlighting the tiny amber speckles in her eyes.

I lower my head, my hair covering up my already-blinded vision. "No, I don't want you and... Ian and worrying about time while you're enjoying yourselves. You've worked really hard lately, and you deserve it. You're probably tired of me anyway, so go and have some fun, I'll be fine." I'm facing down while I murmur forced words, because I know if I look up, even if she peeks, she'll catch the blaring jealousy that's boiled up since she's mention the name Ian.

"I just don't want you to feel left out while I'm gone... If I have time, afterwards, you and I can go do something fun." I pull my head up a little and she's staring at me with the most reassuring gaze she can manage, brown-eyes all filled with curiosity.

"CeCe, really, don't rush yourself. Go and relax with your boyfriend, you deserve it."

I don't expect the tight embrace that she pulls me into, squeezing me and saying,"Okay. Try to do something fun. That means no studying, some real fun shit, okay?" I nod in her arms, and let my arms become looser until she's stepping back and waving at me. "See you later, Rocky." I manage to wave and put on a small grin as she smiles at me cheesily. She disappears into the sunlight, and I'm left standing at her doorstep.

She's so beautiful. She's happy. And if she's happy, I'm happy.

XxX

My head slams against the back of the leather seat and my glasses go flying off my face. Ouch. Dina punches Ty in the arm and scolds,"Ty, could you not drive like a fuckin' maniac?"

Ty smiles, all dimpled and muses,"Woah, watch that language little lady. Not around my little sister." Dina scoffs,"Why did I invite you here?"

"Because you can drive, but don't like to, and I look sexy when I'm driving, so you couldn't resist my body."

"Um,_ swerve_ Ty. I have Deucey and that's all I need." I don't think Dina sees the visual annoyance that strikes my brothers face for a moment and he shrugs,"Please, I can get all ladies I want." As I place my glasses back on my face, I notice the visible tightening of my brother's jaw at the sound of Deuce's name. I think that's one thing Ty and I have in common; when our somebody belongs to someone else, it's like a screeching child in your face; it never stops.

Ty pulls up to a high-class looking restaurant and looks at the silver watch decorating his wrist. "What time did CeCe say she'd be out of here, Dina?"

"Right about now. Rocky, can you go and check if CeCe's in the lobby or something? You're dressed way better than the two of us anyway." I awkwardly stare down at the pink button up shirt and dark blue skinny jeans covering my lanky body. I step out of the car with my plain white sandals, the sun glaring against my glasses. I make my way up to the large, upperclass looking restaurant, decorated with various plants around the rim of the building and chandeliers creating sparkles in the windows. Before I can lift my hand to the wooden handle, the door goes flying open, into my face.

Jesus, that_ hurt._

"Oh shit, are you ok- Oh my God, Rocky?" I hear a menacing crack against the concrete and know my glasses are finished, but they don't seem to matter as soft hands pull me up and I hear an angel-like voice.

"Aw... I fucked your glasses up." ... Not very angel like words. "Did I hurt you?" I lie and shake my head. I soon feel CeCe's fingers pressing at my flustered face and I hiss as she prods against my aching nose. "Oh man, did I break your nose?"

"CeCe, wait up!" I can't see very well but I as soon I spot strawberry-blonde hair exiting through the door and smell that annoying scent of Abercrombie cologne, I know it's Ian.

"Baby, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that you weren't mature enough for me, I meant that you just have a more exciting sense of personality."

CeCe turns away from me and faces her sympathetic boyfriend (Ex-boyfriend?) and scoffs. "Which is just another way of saying that I have the mind of a two-year old." I watch Ian sigh and he shakes his head, gripping at the hem of his short pockets. "CeCe, you know I didn't mean that. I was just saying that you're really outgoing sometimes, that's one of the things I like about you."

"Don't fucking talk to me, you ambiguous prick." Oh, big words. As CeCe starts heading to the car (without me, mind you), Ian sprints down the steps right after her and grabs CeCe's hand, spinning her around and promptly landing a kiss against her mouth. The sting of jealousy strikes my body at first, but flies away when CeCe pushes away and mockingly wipes at her mouth. Her face is red; it vaguely resembles the day she fought Tinka. "No, Ian." He gazes at her with a defeated look, and nods.

"Okay." He starts heading dejectedly back towards me, and when I see him bend over and hand what's left of my glasses to me, I mumble,"Thank you."

He fiddles with his fingers, before quietly asking,"Can you tell CeCe I'm sorry?" Unsure of how to respond to such a simple yet perplexing request, I only nod and start scurrying towards the car as the horn hurries me away.

We drive off, Ian sitting on the steps with his hands threaded through his hair in misery.

It's terrible that I can't stop the smug smile creeping on my face.

XxX

Oh, how I love Mondays with a passion. I might be the only person to ever willingly say that.

I can finally try to forget the leeching memories of that terrible night, and instead plague myself with school work before finals. My glasses are still broken, and unfortunately there's no extra pair. All I have are these dreaded contacts in case my glasses broke, in which they did. I sigh and look at myself in the bathroom mirror one last time, knowing that I'll never feel presentable enough to impress anyone. My eyes; eyelashes, irises, eyelids, pupils, everything is exposed, and I feel naked. I feel uncomfortable.

Well, at least CeCe thinks I look okay. She thinks I look pretty, in fact. That cheers me up a bit, and a little unknowing smile comes to my face at the thought of the cunning redhead. She left to her apartment without a word to Ty, Dina, or I yesterday night; I didn't go after her her, naturally because I can't approach people without having a panic attack, and also because I knew she needed to be alone. I missed her body against mine.

I open my front door and_ JESUS CHRIST- _"Hey Rocky, ready to go? ... Um, are you okay?" She obviously notices the wild choking noises emitting from my mouth as she stands there in her short shorts, pink wavy tank top covered in a gray cardigan and her hair falling down her shoulders, practically glowing in the sunlight. Does she not _realize_ what she does to me?

"I- I'm fine, heh. I'm sorry." Why did I apologize? God, why I am so fumbling and awkward? "Comon' Rocky, Ty is waiting." My heart shivers, I love when she calls me that; Rocky. CeCe gives me another questioning glance before tightening her tote bag on her shoulder and heading down the stairs. I shut my front door and start down the stairs. Eleven seconds into my walk, I realize that I'm not actually walking, my eyes are just following CeCe's hips, which might explain why I run into the car door.

Ty, CeCe and I part our ways as we park on the lot and by then my fingers are already longing to feel CeCe's skin again. God, I have a serious problem.

First and second block pass without a blink, and soon enough it's time to return to the place I hate the most, the lunchroom. That dreaded day still haunts me, where I tripped and fell and food went everywhere. At least I have personal table to myself.

Before I walk into the place I hate, I feel soft fingers pull at my wrist and look up, finding CeCe looking at me with bright chocolate colored eyes and a small grin. "Comon', you're gonna sit with me today." She tugs me but I gently resist.

"CeCe, wait, what about?..." I look over to where her so-called friends are sitting, and she scoffs. "Rocky, you're with me, don't worry. I'm top shit around here, remember?" She instinctively sees my discomfort and squeezes my wrist. "You'll be okay. We can go sit somewhere else if they wanna be dicks, anyway."

Alone? Together? CeCe and I? I suddenly feel a lot more confident. "By the way, you look really nice without your glasses." CeCe, I love you so much but please, stop telling me compliments before I just tear off all your clothes. When CeCe takes a seat at the 'popular table' and I settle down close next to her, I can feel the stares burning right through me.

A girl with candy red hair dressed in stripper shorts and an extremely low V-neck begins a conversation with CeCe, throwing a look at me. "Anyway, where's Ian, CeCe? He wasn't in first block." CeCe shrugs, that familiar look of disgust painting her face. "I don't know, I don't really care either." The candy girl raises her eyebrows, much too dramatically for me. I'd hate to tell her that CeCe and Ian are officially no more.

"So, who's your, uh... friend?" A boy with a small New Jersey accent asks. I remember him, the boy that said he'd gotten to second base with CeCe. (I'm sure he didn't even make it onto the field, to be honest.) I internally start to shrink as everyone's attention falls on me, but CeCe's hand slides into mine and she pipes,"Rocky. She's super smart." I hope she knows that holding my hand isn't helping my heart rate at all.

"Isn't she the girl that tripped that one time?"

"Yeah, but aren't you the one who stuck their dick in Hannah 'Herpes' Hagaline _that one time_?"

CeCe intimidatingly squints her eyes at him, as if daring him to say something again, and the whole table seems to quiet down. "Wow, thanks Dylan, you just pissed me off." It silently humors me that everyone at the table has a confused face. She and I know that she's only thrown that tantrum just so I could get out of there, and my heart warms out of her favor.

"Comon', Rocks." She stands up, grabbing her purse and my arm and dragging me back to the lot. And God, I _wish_ she'd stop calling me that heart-wrenching name. I realize after a few seconds of staring at her butt that I'm being dragged back to Ty's car. The doors unlock and I unconsciously open the door and sit in the passenger seat as she settles in the driver's seat.

"CeCe, where are we going? I don't advise that we skip school today, there's a lot of tests going on..."

"We need to talk."

Oh no. The last we 'talked', I was sobbing and she was holding me which only induced more sobbing. What could be happening? Is she finally going to leave me for the populars? Is she going to tell me that I'm a freaky lesbian geek that shouldn't have kissed her? Oh God, what if she tells me that she's moving? What if she's dying?

"Look, that night... That I came to your house, and we... When we... Um..." She stumbles over her words, and slowly asks,"Was I your first kiss?"

The one question I didn't think of is the most intimidating one, and I gently nod in embarrassment. I hear CeCe sigh and I watch her shake her head.

"Oh."

The unsaid tension in the car is unbearable as I plagued with the familiar hyperventilating feeling in my chest. I have to get out of here immediately.

"I'm sorry CeCe but if you don't have anything to say then I really have to get back to cl-"

And then she leans over and cups my cheek and kisses me.

* * *

><p><strong>I know 90% of you hate me for ending it there, and that's good. I want you to treat this story like the dirty little slut it is. It's been a bad, bad story and it needs a good reviewing right on it's review page. You better type so hard, that those reviews are gonna be red and sore and just painful.<strong>

**I'm just kidding. Don't treat this story (or people) like dirty little sluts. But I would enjoy a review. BECAUSE REVIEWS ARE NICE AND I ENJOY READING NICE THINGS FROM VERY PRETTY DOLLS LIKE YOU ALL.**


	10. Highlighters

**Disclaimer: I probably will never own Shake It Up, but in the event that I do, you can all guest star on the show and I can ride away into the sunset on my bicycle with a bag of Twizzlers and a scraped knee.**

* * *

><p>Her fingers slide up my neck and through my hair that she's complimented so many times, pushing her lips and she's breathing hard against my mouth. I don't know what do except begin internally imploding upon myself because CeCe Jones is kissing me for the second time in my life, and this time, not under the influence. I don't know what to do because<em> what the fuck is going on<em>.

My eyes are stuck wide and alert, staring at CeCe's shut eyes. I try not to seem completely paralyzed and I squeeze my eyes shut and feel the shocks going through my body intensify. God, her lips are so soft, why are they so soft? I feel the softness begin to lighten and her begin to pull away from me, fingers loosening in my hair and her right palm sliding over my cheek, and God, her hand feels too warm and gentle. I think the kiss is over, but I'm terribly wrong as I feel her hot tongue swirl over my bottom lip, and she pulls away from me, and after I open my eyes, she's already out the car and walking back to the school building.

Oh my_ GOD_.

XxX

"Rocky, calm down, speak_ slowly_. I can't understand ya' when you're talking like a blubber whale. Now, CeCe did what to you?"

My eyes are filled with scared tears and I don't know why I'm crying, and these stupid contacts only make my eyes more watery and irritated. Dina watches me intently, plopped on my sofa with her hands clamped together. She's dressed her usual clothing, except with an extra hoodie that I had sobbed on for the past hour when she arrived at my house. "Rocky, talk to me. What happened?"

My heartbeat is going out of control and my limbs tremble and I croak,"CeCe- CeCe kissed me. She- she kissed me."

Dina scoffs and throws her arms up, exclaiming,"Then what's the problem? She was just drunk again, right-"

"No, no, not this time, no." I shook my head, my messy hair sticking to my damp face. "No... We were at lunch, and some boy had made her angry, so we left the cafe and she took me to Ty's car, and I was sitting in the passenger's seat and she was in the driver's seat, and I was talking, and then she..." My heart pounds against my rib cage so fast as I can't finish the sentence and I swear it's going to fly out of my chest in the next second or so.

Dina leans back on the sofa, looking astonished. She asks,"She just leaned over and kissed you? No warning? And then what?"

I take a deep breath, my eyes meeting Dina's curious brown ones. "She didn't say anything to me, and just got out the car and left. And I didn't see her or hear from her for the rest of the day."

"Well, shit. That's pretty rude if ya' ask me. And why would she just kiss you out of nowhere like that? Are you sure she wasn't high or something?"

"No, Dina, she wasn't high. She was sober and sane and she kissed me and used her_ tongue_ and I just didn't know what to do-" I dig my nails into the palm of my hand as a streak of anger flashed in my vision. I was so sick and tired of CeCe coming to me and using me as the blanket of security. I bet that was merely some release for her since her and Ian broke up. Is that all I am to her? A dirty, torn-up blanket to use whenever everything in her world comes falling down?

"I just... I don't know, girl. This sounds pretty off, even for CeCe. I mean, she doesn't go around kissing girls. At least when's sober, she doesn't."

I sigh and bury my head into the pillow I've been clutching for the past ten minutes.

"Well, what do you wanna do?"

"Nothing, I just- I don't know what to do... I just wanna know why she did it. Why would should kiss me... a loser."

"Hey, hey now," Dina walks across the floor and puts a hand over my shoulder, rubbing it in comfort. "You're not a loser. Losers give up, and about everyone I know who's has the right mind has given up on trying to deal with CeCe. But you didn't, and I think that's the raddest shit ever. CeCe is obviously a hassle to put up with, and I applaud you for that, girl. Comon, look at me."

I someberly look up to Dina and she smiles a smile, one that just breaks all the built up nerves that I had gathered over time. A smile that was so... pure. She poke softly,"Look, everything is gonna be fine. I swear, we're gonna get through this. It might take a while, but we're gonna reach the end."

I nod and sigh in content. "Thank you, Dina, just, thank you."

She stands up, stretching and implies,"Now, how about we go get a milkshake?"

I glance over at my bag full of books. "But I should really stu-"

"Nope, we're gonna go get a milkshake."

XxX

"So," Dina pauses to lean over and takes a sip of her caramel milkshake filled with candy and peanuts, while I silently sit continue to stir my plain strawberry milkshake with my straw. "CeCe's going to a party tonight, right?" I internally frown; CeCe should know better, it was a school night. But then again it _was _CeCe, so technically,_ I_ should know better.

"And this is gonna be like the biggest party ever. I think it's like a ghetto Valentine's Day party," Dina chuckles. I shuddered.

"But... how does this involve us figuring out why she... kissed me?"

Dina slumps in her seat and raises her eyebrows. "Rocky, girl, you gotta catch up with the program. You know CeCe always comes back to your place after a long night, so there, just bring up the kiss-"

"_No_, no- I... I can't. It'd be too much to handle, and I don't wanna make her mad and make her storm out of my house at three in the morning again."

Dina makes the most confused face at me and tilts her head, and I groan,"It's a long story." She slumps back in the 90's-theme chair, decorated with black and white boxes, and poking her lip out while looking at the sky. She mumbles,"Hmmmmm. What if I took you with me?..."

My heart nearly drops to my stomach. Me? "At a party? No, no, no Dina, absolutely not. I can't go to a wild party full of misfits, I'd most likely encounter all types of chaos such as overly-hormonal teenagers, and girls who insist on just making out with o-"

"Rocky, chillax, alright? I have an idea that'll benefit the boths of us. But 'ya have to trust me, okay?" She pushes aside her milkshake and lays her hand on the table, and I watch it for a moment, feeling my chest swell with a deep heartfelt emotion that Dina always managed to give me. I lay my clammy hand on top of hers and she squeezes it whilst giving me a bright, warm smile. "I promise, I won't let anything happen to you, alright? We're buddies now, and I hold down my shit for my buddies, I can tell 'ya that much."

I don't know what I nod for but I nod regardless, and force out a statement. "I'll do it."

She leans back in her chair and smiles menacingly, rubbing her hands together in a way that resembled a rapper. Birdman, I believe.

"So, this is what we're gonna do."

XxX

Oh God, oh God, oh GOD. These pants are giving me the most irritating rash, I can feel the burning on it forming on my behind now. Why these pants, why this outfit? Why me? Why do these horrible things always seem to find their way into my life?

"Jesus, Rocky, I can feel you thinking. Jeez girl, calm down, you're the color of a freakin' tomato."

Dina continues to prod and poke and tuck and nip and the hems of my extremely-tight clothing. I'm sporting leather and blue skinny jeans, which should immediately be renamed to constricting-jeans, a blinding, neon-pink, lace, sleeveless, collared shirt, these golden and dangling godawful earrings that resemble Egyptian pyramids, and these disgustingly strange, black shoes that have been morphed into sneakers and heels? High-heeled-sneakers? I can barely walk WITHOUT heels as it is. And I know my face is only dimpled with makeup here and there but it feels as if it's been caked onto my face. I feel so grotesque, it pains me to even watch myself in the bathroom mirror.

"Dina, do I have to wear such provocative clothing? I'm pretty sure a nice turtleneck sweater would do perfectly..."

"Rocky, stop being such a pansy. You have to dress for success, and success is gonna get you and CeCe alone."

Where... Where did..._ I_ go?

I turn to Dina and say with a pained look,"How do you know she'll even want to associate with me? I can barely even recognize myself in these weird, sparkly clothes you dressed me in."

"Look here, _Raquel_, you wanna find out why CeCe deep-throated you with her tongue, this is how you're gonna find out."

I feel my face begin to burn bright red. Oh God. "S-She did not- she didn't do that to me, she just...", and right there, the images, clear like the Pacific waters, start floating in my mind again. And when they burn, it's amplified. Her fingers caressing the back of my neck, like cracks of fire pop as the pads slide onto my jawline to rest there. Soft, almost cloud-like lips are touching my own and I'm at a loss at what to do. The muscles in my heart have gone completely hysterical, feeling every fast pump of blood go through my chest and I hear the deep beats in my ear and then I feel it; her glossy lips part and suddenly, I'm stricken with an almost complete feeling of insanity. My limbs go solid, not just stiff but completely solid, and that point, I've stopped breathing. And there's that ever so lovely feeling of lightheadedness once again. I closed and opened my eyes once, only one more blink away from completely passing out, and my entire face had gone cold, and I watched the quick sway of her hips through the car window.

"Woah, woah, yo', wake up Rocky!_ Jesus_!" Dina falls backwards against the bathroom door as she catches my tall, awkward body. "Girl, get up! Don't pass out yet! And ya' really need to see a doctor because you've probably fainted like eight times in the past five months."

I breathe hard and hoist myself up, and my face is literally on fire as I'm embarrassed, not only for thinking of that kiss, that deadly kiss, but promptly almost blacking out on Dina. "I'm sorry," I murmur, facing towards the ground.

"It's alright, but I can't promise I'll be there to catch ya' if you pass out at the party."

My throat clamps up and I stare at myself in the bathroom mirror once again.

Tonight was the night.

* * *

><p>"Dina! Oh my God, girl!" I step away from Dina as numerous girls crowd her at the front door of this apparent mansion. They all squeal and Dina's smile broadens as she returns the petty embraces from girls she knew around school. They were all the popular ones, all pretty and covered in sequins and heels. One blonde girl, though, instead didn't hug Dina; she was squinting her eyes very tightly at me and leaning forward.<p>

"Is that the ... geek girl?"

I didn't like when people examined me for long periods of time, and I could feel my strange and awkward demeanor begin to show, until I heard a "smack."

The popular girls and blonde girl turns to Dina with a horrified look, holding her arm. "What the hell was that for?"

"Don't be a bitch, Michelle," Dina scoffs. "C'mon, Rocky, we got some partying to do." I scurry past the judgmental teenagers and my eyes and ears are immediately greeted with complete... chaos. Bass is filling and vibrating throughout the ground and against my body, the smell of sharp of what I guess could be alcohol greets my nostrils; it burns. I follow closely behind Dina and my body begins to tense up as I feel random hands brush against me. They're all drunk, everyone. I wasn't gonna be a victim of that tonight, not at all. I may have never drank before but I know that a drop of liquor in my system would tear me up.

The neon lights get brighter and bright and- Am I glowing? I'm glowing. My clothes are glowing._ I'm glowing_. "Dina," I nervously shout through the music,"Why am I glowing?"

"It's just the clothes you're wearin', everybody's glowing too!" She's right; everyone looks like they've been doused in highlighter fluid and are raving against eachother's bodies in a bright, colorful harmony. God, I am so nervous right now. I'm shaking and trying to keep close to Dina and not pass out from all the strong alcohol scents. I briefly slow back and look around me; this is actually a party. People dancing upstairs, sitting on the stairs and trying not to let their friends fall down said stairs, a DJ settled in the corner with his hand in one on his laptop and the other holding the rolled up, little white rod in his mouth, smoke flowing around him. And people are _everywhere_, how Dina and I are managing to get through this chaos is beyond me. And people keep touching me and it's really not making me comfortable at all.

"Rocky, come on. We don't have a lot of time. We gotta find CeCe, and then I have to find that Ashley bitch," Dina calls, grabbing my wrist and tugging me along, peering through the numerous teenagers. "There," I point out in less than a second, and Dina swerves around, scoffing.

It was disgusting how I could dumped into over one thousand people yet spot CeCe like a droplet of blood on white cotton sheets. And God, she looks absolutely perfect. My heart speeds up as my eyes trail over her entire body; the word perfect is thrown around so casually nowadays but I'm not kidding, she looked unwordly, just perfect.

"She's with that _bitch_. Perfect." Dina rolls up the sleeves of her leather jacket and I gulp. Crap. Crap, crap. My heart speeds up, and I'm sure it's beating as fast as a baby's right now. She's with the football players and the cheerleaders and that little clique of people who tended to always pick on me for no given reason; the jerks. I feel my body become weaker and weaker as Dina grips tightens on my wrist; this is a bad idea, a very_ bad_ idea and I don't know why I hadn't realized this before. This is a BAD idea.

"Dina!" They all break their conversation and greet her. Oh my God, CeCe is even more amazing up close; she's dressed in pink skinny jeans and a wavy white top that shows off all the right spots on her body and gold and black heels and I am breathing heavily now, oh God. Her hair is straightened and her lips- Jesus, her lips looked so pink. God, she looks so gorgeous, GOD.

"Where's Deuce at," a brunette girl asks. They seemed to not have noticed me standing behind her, more so hiding behind her yet. Dina (has finally let go of my wrist, thank goodness) and shrugs, her boyfriend obviously not her priority right now. "Although, I think you would know, right?"

I gulp. Shit, this is a _really_ bad idea.

The girl is visibly offended and scrunches her face up at Dina, who seems to be interested in this part of her "idea" more than anything. "What the fuck are you trying to say?"

I watch CeCe lean over and whisper to a guy,"Who's that behind Dina?"

Then everything just goes... _boom_.

It's slow motion as I watch Dina's balled fist travel and slam in the girl's nose, CeCe spills her cup full of something on the boy next to her and the girl tumbles backward into the wall and Dina pounces atop her, screaming and hitting away. Words I thought I'd never hear from Dina come from her mouth ("You dirty fucking whore, how dare you lay a hand on my fucking boyfriend and think that you would get away with it, you fuckin' slut!") And the party doesn't stop; in fact, the DJ screams,"FIGHT, Y'ALL!", and his music gets faster and faster.

The humongous crowd is torn between watching and cheering and trying to pull the girls off of eachother. I watch CeCe instinctively squeal and squeeze between people, trying to preserve her glamorous state of fashion, and I follow the plan. Follow CeCe. Oh God, I can't breathe. This is a really bad idea. Really, really bad idea. CeCe continues to shove through the people, and even then I can barely hear her yell,"Ugh, move- get the fuck out of my way, God!"

I stumble closely behind, ignoring the random hands that keep touching me- WHY do they keep touching me, gosh, stop, please. CeCe's way ahead of me, and I watch her shove her way upstairs and into a random room- shit, she's alone. I'm gonna be alone with CeCe Jones, again. I don't wanna do this anymore, why couldn't my cat do it, why ME?

I make my way to the door, finally, and stare down at the jumbled, drunken crowd, then stare back at the door. My hands are clammy as I grip the doorknob and hold my breath in, slowly pushing in the door. And brown eyes meet mine.

"Who is- Rocky?"

The lights are off, so the room is dark and the only thing lighting it thus far is the moonlight filtering scarcely through the window and the occasional glimmer of neon lights that would scatter from under the door. She unbelievably laughs,"Is that _you_? God, you look... different."

And you look so beautiful, I could marry you right here, right now. You're staring, Rocky, stop, TALK.

"Uh... We- I have to talk. To you."

She twists her eyebrows down in confusion and moves backwards until the back of her knees hit the edge of the bed, where she then stares at me with the most intense gaze that I could feel searing right through my face. Her head tilts to the right and she pokes forward at the conversation. "Well?"

I feel my pulse violently pumping in my chest and I clamp my hands behind my back. My tongue moves around to form a shaky sentence,"I wanted to talk to you about..." Spit it out, dammit, say it. "About the other day in the car."

Her head falls to look down at her heels and there's silence, despite the apparent noise of commotion going on outside the closed door. A subconscious timer dings in my head and a minute has already passed. She still hasn't said anything, it's quickly gnarling away at my nerves. I know she remembers.

"What day in the car?"

I draw my hands to my sides and an extremely unfamiliar flicker that I feel go up and down my arms and legs cause my hands to ball. "CeCe... You know what I'm talking about." She's quiet for another moment, her head still down to the carpet then she laughs with a bare tinge of regret in her voice,"Oh... _that_ day. What about it?" The flickers running through my fingers grow faster and I feel bizarre and malaise ... I feel angered.

"What do you mean 'what about it?' You kissed me, CeCe- YOU kissed me," I hissed. I don't know where my mind has gone, but it's been shadowed with pure lividness and a blinding cloud of red.

"I know what the fuck I did, _Rocky_, you don't have to remind me."

She stood up and I was her stance grow into the mundane one she sported, one I'd always feared to be in presence in. Not right now, though; not this time.

"You can't just kiss me and not give a proper explanation for it, CeCe! You can't just walk away and not tell me why! If it was something you did out of your impulsiveness, then it's understandable and that's all you had to say. Kissing people-"

"I'm pretty sure I knew what I was doing, you don't have to repeat it every five fucking seconds," she swears at me.

"Then tell me why you did it then, CeCe. Tell me why you ran away and were completely uninformative of your actions."

"Exactly why do I need to tell you anything? It's my business and my thoughts and _my actions_, so respect my privacy and let's just not talk about this bullshit!"

My mouth falls open. "CeCe. _You_. _Kissed_. _Me_. YOU KISSED ME! With NO EXPLANATION! It's not- it's not bullshit! How simplified do I need to make these terms?!" I'm yelling. Even if someone heard, I don't care right now. CeCe's constant childish behavior has pushed me over for the last time. "Well, CeCe? Are you going to stand there and glare at me or do I need to further my reasons as to why-"

A loud growl that didn't come from my mouth echoed in the dark, moon-lit room and all I manage to see before instinctively squinting was a flash of red pounce in the direction of me. I feel her knife-like nails digging into my arms, I'm completely thrown off balance as my back made a forceful meet with the ground.

All anger that is possibly in my bones drains and my heart is beating so hard I'm confusing it with the bass of the music coming from downstairs. I'm not a fighter, and from the flashbacks of CeCe rapidly striking away at her enemy's face, if she layed a hand on me, I'd be finished. My chest is rattling with every rise and fall and I feel that painful tinge before I'd black out returning. And then I open my eyes.

She's so close... CeCe's so close to my face. I just want to lean up so badly and recreate that terrifying memory but at the same time I want to push her off and never speak to her again. Her eyes are so dark, and I watch her continue to gaze with rage at me, her hair creating a orange rainfall between our faces. I still feel her hands on my arms and her nails in my skin. Her body is so, so close to my own. There are monarch butterflies migrating to every part of my body.

"I don't know what I was doing," she whispers, almost forcing the words out of herself. "I don't know." I'm silent in response. I think she expects me not to answer anyways.

"I left so fast because I didn't want to think about it and- and I still don't."

She's loosened her death-grip on my arms but remained over me, not touching me. I can smell every breath of bubblegum tinged with alcohol against my face and I swear I can hear her heartbeat. All I can see is her eyes. They're glowing, despite the eerie dark color her irises always strode out of a gaze she would shoot. Inside of them, I can almost see something small and terrified, trying to leech away from inside of her body. I watch her eyes close and her mouth moves to form words, but nothing comes out.

She tries again, and her voice cracks,"I'm sorry, Rocky, I'm just- I need to figure out some things... Just give me time, okay?"

I nod. I nod to the request into restraining my petty emotions for the redheaded girl I know I'll never have. I nod because I think I'm smitten with her. I nod because I hate her for making my life so horrible. I nod because there's glossiness in her eyes and I can't yell at her anymore. I nod because I want her to kiss me again. I nod because I want her to love me.

* * *

><p><strong>HEYO! I haven't updated this in FOREVER (more like June of 2013), and I'm like, REALLY, really, REALLY REALLY sorry about that. Like, I'm hella sorry. And I promise, the next chapter won't take as long to finish. I just lost my inspiration for a little bit, but like, now it's back and I'm ready to rock the ReCe world. WOO! <strong>

**Also, leave a review because Bella and Zendaya are super cute together.**


	11. Cocaine

**Disclaimer: I do not own Shake It Up, whatsoever, like at all, like NONE. AT ALL.**

* * *

><p>"Rocky, where have you been? I looked up and down and all around the world for you and you're sittin' in my goddamn CAR?" Dina breathed into the side of my face. Her words registered into my brain but quickly faded into the abyss of my mind. I don't know what's happened in the past hour or so but all I can remember is CeCe, apathetic words being breathed into my face.<p>

For once in my life, I had finally encountered a block within my mind; I don't understand.

"You okay, Rocky? Raquel?" I finally respond after hearing my formal name; it sounded so foreign to me now.

"Yeah, I'm uh, I'm okay," I lie. I'm not okay, my mind is in a depressing chaotic blur at the moment and really, I just want to go to sleep. Dina has already done so much for me, I even feel a tad guilty that she has to drive me home.

How she had come out of that grisly fight without a scratch, it is utterly amazing to me.

I'd come out with a sense of confusion, more so, loss of mind.

XxX

"Rocky, you okay? You've been acting all down lately."

I can't comprehend anything, I just can't. I can't mentally bring myself to try to figure out what occurred that night in that moonlit room. What does CeCe want to work out? Is it something I've done? This pang; this deep, empty feeling in my chest whenever I think of the redhead will not subside, and it's breaking me. All because I'm trying to figure out what in CeCe's head when I should know I will never be inside of her mind.

I wish I could respond and tell Dina what went on that night, but my mind is a gray, discombobulated cloud at the moment. If I opened my mouth and tried to speak, I'd likely faint from the stress of having to try to form sentences.

"Yeah, I'm okay," I lie again. Possibly the largest lie known to man.

I'm dying. As if I thought the last time was misery, the feeling of not knowing what is going to happen next is literal death on the mind and the body.

It's all her fault. This is all CeCe's fault. I need to go to Principle Walloch right now and just call everything that is happening off. This is_ all_ CeCe's fault.

The entire school day, I can't focus. My notes aren't the tidy bunch I usually put so much effort into, I don't touch my lunch whilst I'm seated in the library, and I just can't stop thinking about CeCe. I can't. Everytime I think of her, this pang of emptiness runs through my fingers and up my arms and all the way back to my chest, and I get that feeling of blacking out; but not the blacking out where she made me giggle and blush, the kind where I'd lose my breath and I'd slip into of a sort of darkness where I'm stuck, screaming for consciousness until I opened my eyes again.

She is going to be the death of me, I know that for a fact. One day I'm going to think too hard about her, and my heart is just going to shiver and stop. I feel like that day could be anytime soon, now.

I get home with the weight of a thousand planets on my shoulders, and head to my room without glancing at my brother Ty. He's clad in his skinny jeans, a black sweater and dark gray shoes, playing some basketball video game. He doesn't acknowledge my presence, which is quite usual to begin with; although, it really affects me more this time, for him not to see the pain on his sister's face. As if I'd actually want him knowing I was in love with CeCe Jones, anyways.

I climbed onto my bed and stared at the plaster of the ceiling.

I'm in love with CeCe Jones.

There's that pang again. She's kissed me, but it still never happened. Pang.

I remember what I've been told when I feel like blacking out; breathe. Closing my eyes, I inhale and exhale, dodging thoughts that will keep my chest from aching.

Breathe. Why is she so beautiful? Why do her eyes sparkle whenever she smiles?

Breathe. How come when she kissed me, I almost felt like she actually meant it?

Breathe. CeCe, why do you make me feel like this? Why do you make me feel like the world is ending but when I'm gone, you're going to be my heaven? Why do I still taste the Everclear on your lips after the drunken kiss you gave me? Why did you gaze at me so deeply when we were on the beach? Why did your hands linger on the back of my neck when you kissed me in my brother's car? Why do you keep fucking doing these things and then you don't want to admit them? Or you call them a mistake?

_This isn't working._ I sit up and stop breathing so sporadically, because I sure as hell was about to pass out if I didn't stop.

God, I hate her. I fucking hate her. I fucking hate CeCe Jones with all my heart.

No, I don't. I love her. I love her so much and I want to love her as long as eternity exists.

Why is she doing this to me? Why is this happening to _me_?

I scoff,"Ugh." I'm just so tired. So tired of everything. I hate feeling these feelings.

"Yo, Rocky," my brother calls and pokes his head into my room. It bothers me deeply that everyone calls me Rocky now, since CeCe had especially come up with it just for me. But so be it. "That party last night doe. Realest shit ever, I hope there's another one soon," he muses while grinning like a complete creep. I purposely try to avoid thinking about the end of that unforgettable night. It's permanently burned a questioning hole into my brain which is making my head hurt and my heart feel like it's dropping into abyss, and can only be answered by CeCe.

Fucking CeCe. Fuck. Blurry blue thoughts begin intrude my thinking space and I brush them away as much as possible; they only bring pain. If not pain, then fainting. Judging by my earlier feelings, I'm not far from dropping dead right about now.

"Ty, that was complete chaos. I can't even begin to comprehend how possibly you enjoy going to those things every other day."

He shrugs and steps fully into my room. "I don't really comprehend it, I just _do_. Ya' know?"

Oddly enough, I understand what Ty is saying. He doesn't think of the repercussions, but rather, he acts in the moment without thinking about the bad things. I looked deeply at my brother, and even though I often despise the cocky smirk that is always painted on his dimpled face, I realized that the mood he sported was so often carefree and relaxed. He just lives in the moment, and I wish I had the ability to do that too. I'm always reflecting on the past and the future, that I'm never I nod and murmur in agreement,"Yeah."

"But what I wanted to say was that I'm going out, I'll be back around..." He lifts up his phone and finishes,"Eight. Maybe like, eight thirty. There's pizza and chicken salad and stuff in the fridge if you get hungry."

"Where are you going?"

"Date. With Dina." He straightens out the collar of his sweater and slicks back his curly, short hair once more.

"But what about her boyfriend? Aren't they still together?" He shoots me that creepy, dimpled smile again and wiggles his eyebrows in a suggestive manner, boasting,"Well, according to her last night, the only deuce in her life was the she was threw up to Deuce."

What in God's name was this boy saying? He sees the confused look on my face and deadpans,"They broke up." Ahhh, okay. My generation and their new terms always befuddle me completely. Twerk, yeet, bae, Taking an L, all those words and phrases I always hear at school. Youth are literally defaming the English language as each year passes. Ergh, but what can I do?

"I'll be back later, alright? Don't get into any trouble, although I don't really need to tell you that. Even though you've been hanging with CeCe lately. That girl is a badass, and I don't mean in the good way."

"I know," I respond, with a hint of apathy in my voice that Ty lucky doesn't catch. God, do I know. Alcohol, parties, detention every other day, and she goes around kissing people with no given explanation. God, do _I_ of all people know that CeCe Jones is a badass.

Ty exits my room, whistling with joy and I... I don't know what to do at the moment.

Study, yes, study. I reach down and pull out a large Advanced Calculus book out of my bag, and open it to a random page. I already know everything but hey, it doesn't hurt to study twice, right? Right.

Get rid of the variable. Yes, get rid of the X, so set the equation equal to zero, and then subtract the eight to the fifth power from the eleven to the fifth power, then divide by singular variable. Now divide again by the CeCe. Then set the equation equa—

"God _dammit_," I growl. Why can't get that GIRL out of my head? God, make it stop, please, PLEASE make IT STOP.

But the thing is that I really _don't_ want it stop. I want her to keep eating away every functioning part of my brain while I continue to fantasize about every beginning and end of her body. I want to every inch of body. The tips of my fingers tracing down her sharp jawline while she slides her hands up my burning abdomen. I want to be so close to her that I can hear her scattered thoughts entering her conscious and leaving them at the same time and she can feel the valves of my heart contracting. I want her cherry breath left in my mouth and her on top of me in a haze of neon pink sparks; I want her cocaine lips on every pore of my skin to get me into a nostalgic high that's only just happened moments ago. Kilos and kilos of her spread all over me.

I'm about another thought away from slipping into a coma, I promise.

I hear a knock at the door and I pray it's just Dina. I need someone to talk to and I desperately pray that it's Dina as I approach the front door. She's truly been the biggest help to me throughout the mound of utter chaos, plus she's become a really good friend of mine in the process. Plus, she's one of the only two people I have regular interaction with, the person being CeCe, and, well, if I see her, I'm going to die, so. Of course, I don't plan on going into _detail_ as to why I'm mere inches from being comatose if Dina is at the door, but rather the person who's causing it.

Then my mind stops me— no, it CAN'T be Dina because she's going on a date with Ty.

Oh God, what if it's CeCe, holy _shit_, what if it's _CeCe_. Her feelings are so sporadic that she's probably forgotten about wanting "time to figure out things" and now she's at my house to torture me again. My heart begins to pump at mach speed and the task of opening the door becomes a life or death situation.

I take a deep breath and swing the door open—

"Hi, Rocky."

My heart just stopped. I can't feel it beating. My heart just fucking stopped. I can feel my heart imploding.

"Hey... I just came over to get my charger. Ty took it yesterday at the party... I need it back." I hate you so much but I love you so much. Fuck, FUCK.

She doesn't look at me as any of those words leave her mouth and makes her way back to Ty's room.

I'm still standing with my hand on the doorknob like an idiot, and the door still wide open, with my brain at loss of what to do. On one hand, I want to hold CeCe down and force her to give me a proper explanation as to why she's kissed me. On the other hand, I want her to hold me down and make all the problems in my world disappear. In both of those scenarios, I will likely have a heart attack and die.

I hear her approaching and she's still got her face pointed towards the ground, with an obvious intention to avoid my eyes as much as possible. I feel my brain spazzing out of control, trying to tell my body to remain calm. God only knows what my heart is doing, jumping jacks, a marathon, every Olympic sport that's ever freaking existed.

Running a hand through those burning red locks, she sighs and finally faces me, leaning on the door frame. She murmurs,"Thanks."

"You're welcome," I breath with my eyes cast down at the ground. She and I both catch the tremble in my voice and I know it, but she ignores it. The elephant in the room is also growing profusely

"And about yesterday... Can we just, like, forget it?" Don't say yes, Rocky.

"No, CeCe. I'm- I'm tired of this," I stutter. I'm keeping my composure the best I can as my brain is shorting out into millions of incoherent thoughts.

Bringing her head up, she stares at me and I can't read the emotion on her face. Her voice is stale as she runs a hand through her hair and responds,"Rocky... I don't know, okay?"

My eyes roam over her and her body is tense and I feel irritation start to stir in my limbs. I force out more a lengthy sentence, knowing that her thoughts are brewing at the tip of her tongue yet her mouth is stubborn. "You can't just avoid this CeCe. I still have to see you on a daily basis to tutor you and this awkward tension you've caused doesn't help anything."

Her eyes flash that familiar coldness and she spits,"Well then don't see me, just leave, okay? I don't need your help anymore, Rocky. I don't wanna see your fucking face anymore anyways, all it reminds me of is regrets."

Pang. I feel the muscles of my heart stop; all the red and boiling blood that was once running through my body is now drained with absolute numbness. I'm her regret. The seething pain in my chest continues to burn and tingle down my arms and legs. The boulder in my throat is growing by the second. A train had docked full speed into my chest as the words collided and echoed in my head. _Regret._ I grit my teeth and feel tears pooling in the brinks of my eyes.

I'm a regret. She regrets me, and everything I've done. She regrets touching me and talking to me and foremost, kissing me. She regrets my entire existence. CeCe regrets me.

I messed up. I knew I was at fault all along. My limbs are nearing complete numbness. Why did I mess up. Now she's never going to love me. Why did I mess up? Why did I put my entire heart at risk by closing my eyes and daydreaming about her smile? Why did I let her lips touch mine? Why did I have to mess up? I messed up with CeCe. Oh my God, I messed up with CeCe.

"Rocky? What's wrong? Rocky, look at me."

I squeeze my eyes tight as pain shoots through my chest at the sound of my name coming from her delicate yet chaotic mouth. I messed up so much.

I feel sparks graze my fingers, and realize it's CeCe's hand; she's shaking my hand. Her other hand raises my chin and I feel a heatwave flash through my body. I'm plunged between the dark depths of unconsciousness and the consciousness of CeCe's touch right now and I can't feel my mind anymore. I have no idea what's going on.

I'm pulled closer and the only smell in the world right now is strawberry scent radiating off her lips.

"Rocky, look at me. Stay awake, Rocky," she repeats. My eyes are still blurry and my chest is still burning and both of CeCe's hands are now resting on my face. She keeps softly repeating right into my face '_stay awake_', and right before I slip into what I feel will be an eternal abyss of empty darkness, I feel it. I feel her on my mouth. "Stay awake," she whispers, and presses her lips deeper as she murmurs the sentence onto my mouth.

She turns her head and I'm feeling the room spin. Her lips are moving over and over and over against mine and the smell of fruits and candy crowd my nose; her fingertips trickle down my face as she pulls back to breathe, and I unconsciously bring my head up and open my eyes. My gaze runs over everything; the red flush forming on the curve of her cheeks, the glossy shimmer on her lips, and the look in her eyes are unreal. The feeling laced in her dark, dilated pupils are one of which I've never seen before; it's something of a apologetic lust and she's taking it out on me.

CeCe steps back into my apartment and kicks the door shut, grabbing my hand and turning me so that I'm pressed against the front door. Her hands slide down my arms and she leans back in, seizing my lips in a kiss that is so much slower and deeper than the last. I can't almost feel her heartbeat through her lips and I don't know how, but I can. My hands are trembling so hard, almost violently as I raise them to grasp something; anything that can let me know this is real. That this is actually happening. For all I know this is a dream and I'm deep into a redhead-induced coma.

My hands reach out and finally grasp her waist, and they freeze there. The breath hitches in my throat as I feel my fingertips graze the exposed skin that lay under her tank top; her skin is so hot. I say that with literal meaning as I slide my hands farther around her back, CeCe's skin is ignited. I can feel the flame burning on her lips as I feel her tongue run over my mouth. I can hear my heartbeat in my ears, pounding so furiously that my chest could explode at any given moment. This is a dream. This is a dream and I'm in a deep, irreversible coma. Raquel Blue would never let the girl who torments her life kiss her into unconsciousness. She'd never let her hands slide around CeCe's waist and touch the hot skin she'd only ever dreamed of. This can't be happening.

My mouth succumbs to her soft and prodding tongue and I feel her tongue run over my lips again before I taste her. The sweet and tangy flavor invades my tastebuds and my senses break down. She pulls me even closer, lacing her arms around my neck with her fingers tugging lightly at my hair and my hands continue to lightly graze the bits of skin my fingertips can find. Her tongue leaves my mouth momentarily to leave soft, speckling kisses on my mouth and the corners of my lips as well. My breath is so heavy and hot, it burns my nostrils everytime I exhale.

She pulls back and I'm glad she does because the lack of oxygen to my brain certainly isn't helping keep me awake. She pushes her bangs away from her face again and looks up at me with eyes so dark and lascivious.

"Are you okay?" Her voice is raspy and low and I feel my heart flutter.

"I don't know," I respond, my voice shaking and broken. And I don't, to be honest. I'm fully convinced I'm dead right now and this is Satan playing tricks on me.

She grasps my hands and murmurs,"It's okay, Rocky."

Her words are like clouds and they cast a shadow over my thoughts, and I'm completely incoherent. My thought process has been completely shattered and swept under a mist of a strawberry scent and a bubblegum tongue.

She leans up and kisses me again, but with less lust laced in it. This time she's soft and sentimental and I can feel my pulse sync up with her. Breaking the kiss, she murmurs,"I'm sorry." And the short phrase makes me reminisce over every bit of despair she's ever caused me. From the day I saw her waltz into this neighborhood with the slightest bit of civility on her face, to the time I saw her in the restroom at school after fighting with that deep scratch under her eye, to the time she stormed to the time she kissed me in the car and left without a word. Just yesterday, she told me that she needed time to think about all the moments she's been intimate with me and just a day afterwards, we've made out. All the despair in my life has always been a direct result of CeCe Jones, and here I am, standing against the door with her body melded to mine and she has the audacity to tell me that she's _sorry_.

I don't respond for a long time as I watch a glint of genuine trust sparkle in her eyes. For once, CeCe means it.

My response is something so crazy; I capture her lips instead of talking. I'm so angry and confused and in love with her, so I just take it out on her lips. And I feel like this isn't me, this isn't Raquel; this is all Rocky. My lips create flickers and sparks as I keep kissing and lighting flames on her lips. And she kisses me back, frantic and eager for more. We've gotten nothing of the situation solved, and I'm essentially making this worse than it already is. I should have pushed her away and let the darkness consume me, now I've been plunged into a cocaine wonderland full of CeCe's hallucinogenic touch. She's panting against my mouth and her fingers and threading through my hair. I'm so deep into CeCe, an escape is indefinitely unknown.

And we kiss the night away. I don't think about yesterday, and I don't think about tomorrow. I just think about CeCe's eyes and CeCe's hair and CeCe's nose and her lips. Her soft, soft lips. And then I'm finally aware that I love her more than anything in this world. And even if she forces to forget that this ever happened tomorrow morning, I will remember. And I'll be stuck in this moment forever.

* * *

><p><strong>Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay :D I really need to get on this updating thing more, right? But hey, what're you gonna do? I gotta get money to buy a Ferrari somehow. Also, go buy Bella Thorne's new song on iTunes. It's called Jersey, and it's quite awesome. Zendaya is just beautiful, 247. I LOVE BELLA AND ZENDAYA SO MUCH. **

**Also, review because I enjoy Zendella and ReCe and you should too. **


End file.
